NOTE: This is a repost of when I originally wrote it and posted it in July of 2008. Needless to say, my opinion/feelings have not changed, and sad to say, the world has not changed much either in this regard. I continue to know, fully and without question, that I am a beloved child of God, and I am not flawed, diseased, or deviant in any way, ESPECIALLY not for being a lesbian.
Enjoy!
I feel compelled to write about this due to the strong feelings associated with this topic: HOMOSEXUALITY. I don’t get angry about the topic much anymore, as much as become determined, almost indignant, on needing to firmly state why I feel the way that I do about this. And, I have to say, I would feel firmly that homosexuality is as natural in humanity as heterosexuality, even if I were not a lesbian. But I am a lesbian, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am EXACTLY as God intended me to be.
Now, I am not writing this post as a testament to what science is proving in terms of sexual orientation and genetics. I am not writing this post as a way to quote passages of Scripture, to defend why they are misinterpreted. I am writing this from a feeling, human perspective. It is just the way that I do things, try to bring the personal perspective to the table, which is not always considered when the various sides of this issue take their positions and refuse to see another point of view as valid.
I feel firmly confident in the fact that God has created me, as well as millions of other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons, in His image, and exactly as He wanted us to be. I would, and do, believe that regardless if science seemed to indicate that there is genetic differences or not, that God meant for this to be. I feel fully connected to God and to my spirituality, not in spite of being gay, but because I am gay. I am a kind, generous human being, I give willingly to others, I try to be fair and not wasteful, and I have a committed, lifelong partner whom I am devoted to. We are raising a well adjusted, beautiful daughter and doing a fine job. God has blessed us in so many ways, because of who we are.
This is usually where the conversation goes to the area of “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of statements, referring to being gay as being a “choice” or “lifestyle”, and that we are “giving in” to “sinful urges” without restraint. While I will not be discussing my own sexual behavior here, since that is just not my style, I will say that sexual orientation, or in my case, being a lesbian, is about SO MUCH MORE than sexual behavior, sexual activity, sexual intimacy. Yes, that is part of it in most of the couple relationships that I am acquainted with, as in most committed relationships. That is PART of what connects two persons to one another. But, think about it for a minute, when you meet someone that you know may be a significant person to you, one to whom you are attracted, how would you describe that attraction? Some of us have had the experience of being attracted to a person physically or sexually only, with nothing else much there. That has not been my typical experience, but that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about falling in love, being attracted to a person on all levels: physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, soulfully, prayerfully- the heart to heart connection that comes with those that we fall in love with madly. THAT is what orientation is about. If I were to describe a heterosexual orientation as only about sex, or sexual attraction or intimacy, I would be diminishing it and leaving out so much else that describes and defines a couple relationship.
And, just as there are messed up persons in this world who are heterosexual, married or not, so is the case in the homosexual world as well. Not much difference there. However, there are many of us that are monogamous, in committed, long term relationships, who are not unfaithful and want to spend the rest of our lives together, God willing. Would there really need to be a focus on what it is that we do intimately if we were allowed to be married? If that were to sanction our committed relationship, then really, who would care how we conduct ourselves? And, for those that think that the institution of marriage will be ultimately destroyed, and the foundation of our society shattered if homosexual persons are allowed to marry one another, wouldn’t you agree that marriage could use some help these days? I mean, the most recent statistic is that almost half, if not half, of marriages end in divorce? How can we worsen those types of numbers? Isn’t it remotely possible that we might boost the chances of happy marriage?
I know some people, many people actually, some of whom are gay, some not, who were raised in households and communities and churches, that told them that being a homosexual was against God, unnatural, and an abomination, and who believed it for much of their lives. Some of those same people have had changes of hearts and minds over their lifetime, by realizing that being gay and being in God’s image could co-exist. I am so grateful for those persons in my life. I am so glad to know that instead of bringing out fear and loathing in other human beings, that I can illicit appreciation, compassion and joy at who I genuinely am.
I am gay, I am worthy, I am loved, and I am a child of God. Amen.
