Boy, oh boy, do I have shit to clean up in my life about money. For most of my adult life, I have LOVED having credit cards. I love how they look when you get them in the mail; I love how easy it is to shop and get what it is you have been looking for; I love how you can pay just a little bit at a time, so it always seems like you can afford it and can continue to live within your means.
What I am discovering, through this amazing coaching work that I continue to do through Handel Group, the work that will now be the work of my life, from now on, is that my relationship with money and how I view it has been one big LIE. I have lied at times about why I need to spend money; I have lied about my credit amounts; I have lied about my ability to afford something. Now, there I go again, using that great big bad word, LIE. Calling myself a LIAR. It may seem harsh to some of you; not to me.
I choose not to use the words DENIAL or JUSTIFIED, or BECAUSE when it comes to offering some type of explanation about the areas of my life where I have lied (which is many of them). I am choosing not to use any words, but lying and liar, because, for me to change this behavior, to get it on a good, tight leash, I need to call it what it is, with no wiggle room to get out of my responsibility of it all. I have to hold myself accountable to it all.
What is my tally? Well, let’s see. Today was the day that I scheduled to cancel all of my credit cards, store and general, that have no balances on them: NINE. It was also my day to lower my limits on the cards that still have balances: $32,896.00. All credit card debt. TOTALLY gross.
I am taking it down, people. I looked at my budget today, too. I mean, REALLY looked at it. What I make, what I have for regular expenses, monthly and yearly. ALL of it. I am bringing in less than I am putting out; not by much, but there is a definite lack of cash flow there. Never again will I use credit to bail me out of that lack of cash flow hole. That is for certain.
So how am I taking it down? Staying within my budget. Paying off every, single credit card, whether that is through a low interest balance transfer (got approved for one today), consolidation with a personal loan, or just paying above the minimum until they are gone. One of the sickest part of it all, is that if I didn’t have all of this credit card debt that I am paying for every month, I would have an additional $800.00 at my disposal. SERIOUSLY????!!! It is just plain gross, bratty and unnecessary.
I want bigger things in my life, greater dreams for myself, than catering to the whims of my bratty credit card spending self is going to get me. I can live in a budget; I can live within my means; I can have anything that I want and need in this life, and more! I can.
I CAN!
I’m on the same path. And similarly upset by the amount of money we would have each month if I didn’t owe it to the credit cards. You have all sorts of support from me. I know how tough it sometimes is to get right with one’s money!
It is so difficult, yet, so freeing to talk about it openly, and to take it on full force. I have been a money avoider, in terms of really looking at it, for quite some time now. I have a budget book and am planning it out now; that really helps, because now I truly know I will ALWAYS have enough!!