I had an epiphany this week, brought on by words from my wise wife, about what I really want to do here, for the remainder of my time in this physical form. The words that she used, and that have stuck with me since, is to Love Well. As I have aged, I seem to learn more about what Love is, and what it means here to be Loving. I am still not completely sure that I understand it fully; and when I attempt to put it into words, they seem to be sorely lacking. Yet, words are what I have, and what I use, so I will do my best to describe what I mean.
You see, I see myself as a loving person; it is one of the characteristics that I have been able to see in myself easily. What I have seen in myself is a heart that literally feels filled up when I am connected to those around me. It is a heart that feels grateful and present much of the time in my life. But, how I expressed Love on the outside, wasn’t always pure love. Sure, I would take care of those around me; I would try to fix what seemed to be broken; and I would give with my whole heart and soul, putting myself aside in the process.
Today, I am understanding that although those actions in the past could pass as Love from an outside view, and love as I have been taught, it no longer suffices for me, as the Love that I wish to bring to the world. That takes more presence, diligence, and peace, and less Ego, less Me involved. To truly Love, deeply Love, Love in the way which our true nature shows us, I need to see beyond the form. I need to Love equally and fully. I need to accept everything as it Is, and trust that all is unfolding as it should. I need to forgive easily, and then realize, that there is nothing to forgive.
It is a huge challenge for me on many occasions. I want a certain outcome. I think that I know what is best, for everyone around me. I want to control the situation so that I feel less afraid. I want to have an expectation of someone or something so that I can feel more safe. None of those states of mind are Love. Not really. Even though I can justify them in my mind, they aren’t Love.
So, today I commit again to Love in that way. It starts with me, of course, Loving myself precisely and exactly as I Am, which then creates the allowance to Love every, single situation and person as it Is, as they Are. I learn deeply along the way. I fall short. I try again. And, every day, bit by bit, I learn to Love.
I learn to Love Well.