Any American Idol fans out there? I really enjoy the show, although I don’t have as much time as I used to for the show every week. But, I do remember the year that Carrie Underwood was the winner of idol. I liked her, but she wasn’t my first choice. No doubt, she had the talent, but I wasn’t sure of how genuine she seemed to be. I know, kinda weird, not that I know her personally or anything, but I have always believed that a person has to be genuine in their message, whether they have a talent for it or not, for it to be meaningful to me.
Anyhow, my daughter got her CD last year, Some Hearts. She enjoyed listening to it, and I really liked the song, “Jesus Take the Wheel”, which still moves me when I listen to it. This morning, while taking my daily stroll around my campus here in Northeastern Pennsylvania, I decided to listen to her CD during my walk. I listened to “Jesus” this morning, with tears sitting in my eyes waiting to fall, because I woke up this morning afraid, afraid of what the future will bring, when I have reconnected with my true love, and I am so afraid of what I don’t know that is yet to come. I needed to give in, turn it over, let go, let Jesus take the wheel. Trust. Then, after skipping over a couple of the tunes, I listened to another tune on the CD, this one called “Lessons Learned”. It told my story completely. Of how grateful I am “for every break in my heart”, of how hard it has been to get through some of the days, and nights, on this journey. Of how hard it is to think of those lives that I have hurt in the process, so hard to believe that it was all meaningful in some way. “Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.” And this is it completely for me. In all of the lessons that the last year of my life has brought me, or that I have brought to myself, I have had to let go of many things, ideas, habits, and behaviors. Ones that are ready to be burned. I won’t have to go back that way again. There are also things that are in a previous chapter of my life, and although I am turning the page, they are always there as part of my history, as part of who I am and who I have become. And, the lessons learned are literally countless. Lessons that often take me several tries, but are now permanently etched into my being.
Rock on Carrie, and thank you. You put it all together for me.