In the last few months, in the last year even, I have tried, and sometimes been successful, in trying to understand the meaning of some of the lessons that I have had before me. Many of those lessons were painful ones, and, possibly like many of you that read my crazy kind of blog, I often seem to need to learn my lessons in life the hard way. And, often, it takes several times of facing the same challenge before I am good and ready to learn the lesson at hand.
There is no doubt that I have learned to fully let go in the last year, to not obsess over the reason for a lesson to come my way. Given time, and patience, I always came to know why the lesson was there. I also learned to become grateful for the lessons that were in front of me, even those that I was angry about, or hurt, or lost, or just plain old fed up. Eventually, I learned to become grateful for those lessons on loss, hurt, and pain. They always brought me good outcomes and information about myself and others.
I have learned a new aspect of lesson learning in my life. That is, the concept of having respect for the lessons. Not just being grateful, not just gaining an understanding of what the lessons mean. Not just trusting the process of what I am going through. But the actual lesson of respect at the immense nature of what I am learning. Being in awe of how beautiful the living of life is, and my role in that. The absolute stunning nature of the path that I am walking, of the scenery on that path.
I further believe, through the idea of respect, that I learn to have it more for myself as well. I mean, it has been one hell of a year. Probably one of the most challenging of my life so far, without sounding overdramatic. Respect for the darkness, respect for the light, respect for the strength I managed to bring up in the midst of illness, heartache, physical and emotional pain, goodbyes, and moves. Strength in the midst of new adventures, love, new people, new places, and pure joy and peace. Respect is about putting forth what an immense impact something, or someone has had on you. I respect this journey, this life, these lessons, so much. In gratitude, and respect, and awe, I express my blessings and joy in today, and all the todays yet to come.