life, love, reflection, and no going back……

what a year it has been! I mean, leaving the love of my life, soul searching, looking for meaning, trying to connect, to be, to figure it all out. Then, reuniting with that same person I am so meant to be with!!! I feel like I just got off the roller coaster after riding ten times in a row! But this is a new year, a new year with joy and promise and hope and tons of redemption. You see, I have finally forgiven myself. Not that I needed to do that, but for some foolish reason, i thought I had to forgive myself for leaving in the first place. I have realized that it isn’t so. I don’t need forgiveness, even to myself. I left because the love was lost, and now, the love has been found again, by both of us. So, we begin anew. No regrets. No resentments. A fresh start, a clean slate, a chance to do it from today forward, with a new perspective, and a greater respect for one another and the relationship. My life is so blessed, so vast and great of a journey, that I cannot help but enjoy it and find adventure in each day of it!! No looking back, no wondering about what ifs, just going forward into days and weeks and months of newness and love and connection and support and respect and joy, pure joy.

I have had several persons ask me if splitting up is what saved our relationship. To me, that is oversimplistic, and trite in some way. I don’t know that we had to split up to survive, but I think that it allowed us to explore and to better understand what we needed to do to keep it working, and keep communicating with one another. For I firmly believe that we will grow old together, be there for one another, send our daughter off into her life, and still be holding hands and basking in the joy of our love, for all eternity……….

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