I have always been a doer. If something seems interesting or exciting to me, I like to try it out. Nothing dangerous, mind you, I scream like a baby when I am scared, like an amusement park ride that is too fast and too high off the ground kinda scared. But, if I like the sounds of something, I try it on for size.
I was reading one of my affirmations today, and was thinking about how there are so many people in this world that don’t take chances. That don’t try something on. They may read about adventure, inquire about travel, think about changing jobs, or dream about meeting that special person. But, they don’t just do it. I know that I take for granted that I have that drive in me, that many do not.
What is it that holds people back from just doing it? Insecurity about their own abilities to do it maybe. Maybe a fear about what others will think. Maybe in striving for perfection they believe that they will fall short. Wanting to fit in they don’t want to rock the boat. Maybe because they envision their lives in a certain way and cannot envision change for themselves. Now, I have had many of those thoughts, fears, and insecurities as well; I have worried what it may look like to pursue a certain path, strive for a certain goal; I may worry that I will fail, or at least, be not very good at it. I worry that it isn’t the right decision, that I should just stay put.
However, a couple of things are at play with this that help me through it. First of all, I always want to be able to say to myself that I at least TRIED something if I was interested in it. At least then, the mystery is no more. The other part is bigger though. When it all comes down to it, if I don’t like that new job or I am not happy with my new hobby, I don’t feel satisfied with the person I am dating, I always have a choice to change it. No decision has to be the end of the line; it is always okay to realize when something does not work out for us, and to check out what our alternatives are. And, I don’t ever believe that time spent on something that doesn’t work out is time wasted. There is always a lesson in it, some more profound than others, but always significant and always pointing us more toward where we need to be going.
Life is good, and I want to live it, and live it big. I don’t think I know how to dream small anymore, or how to tell myself that I can’t do something. How grand!