Dear mom and dad,

I want to take this opportunity to tell you both how much I love you, and appreciate your presence in my life.  You have both been such great supports to me, and have always let me know how much you love me, and how proud you are of me and what I have accomplished.  That means so much to me.  Your visit here a couple of weeks ago was such a great one, I feel like I was a grownup for the first time when I was having you both for a visit, like I was caring for you both, I was the hostess and you were getting to be the visitors and enjoy yourselves.  Of course, that visit was way too short, but I know that we will be together again soon.

So much makes me appreciate and have concerns about both of you, as I get older, and as I know that you each have needs that you have to take care of, I worry more about how you are doing and that you are healthy and happy.  Mom, I know that your problems with your back, and with your legs, are something that interfere with your daily living at times, but I also know that it is very important for you to not overdo it; for you to take it easy, and let other people help you, whether that is dad, or your kids, or your friends, you need to not do more than your body can handle.  I am so proud of your getting in shape to stay more healthy, just please be safe.  I know in what ways I am most like you; giving, loving, and wanting to help out others in need.  I feel so close to you throughout my life, and feel so fortunate that I have had such a loving relationship with you over the years.  Thank you for always being there for me.

Dad, I have always admired and had such respect for what you have sacrificed and done for our family.  You taught me to work hard, always give my best, speak my mind, and to also be kind and fair to others.  You also impressed upon me the need to always work my hardest to achieve what I want in life.  I know that those qualities in you have always influenced the kind of adult that I have become, and I have never settled for second best because of that, I work my hardest to put forth my best foot.  Sometimes, I drive myself crazy with that, but I know that even if my results are a disappointment, I have done my best.  I worry about you as well; my worries for you are a little more complex, in that what I worry about for you is the elephant in the room, the issue that none of us as your children have ever discussed with you.  Dad, I worry so much about your drinking.  Maybe today, or even this week, you have given it up for a time, but I worry anyway.  I worry because I know that the amount of alcohol that you consume is not healthy for a person; I know that you don’t appear as healthy as you could be, and that alcohol is part of that; I know that when you are stressed, upset, angry, or depressed, you tend to drink more and more often, and I can’t assume that you don’t have control over that, but I know it must be a challenge.  I know, because I also have the legacy of addiction.  I don’t say that to blame you, or in any form of resentment toward you, but I have to fight that battle, I have been fighting it my whole adult life.  Sometimes, it has gotten the best of me, other times, I have full and effective control over it.  Sometimes, it’s booze, sometimes it’s food, sometimes it’s unnecessary shopping and spending.  For today, I know that I can have balance in my life, by moderating all of those activities.

I love you so much.  There is no doubt about that.  But, the bottom line is, I don’t want to lose you before it is absolutely necessary.  I have thought about this letter so many times, but now, after this last visit, seemed like the right time to send it to you.  You are an amazing person, and I have never doubted your love for me.  Please, please do not doubt my love for you by the contents of my letter.  I am writing this out of my love for you.  I know that you need to make your own choices in life, and I will not think any different or less of you, no matter what happens after you receive this; my love and respect for you could never fade away.  I just believe in truth, truth in the name of love, and that is what this is.

I love you both so much.  I can’t wait to see you again…….


24 thoughts on “Dear mom and dad,

  1. I am so proud of you dahlink, a ball of emotion now with little words but that, I am proud of you for your words they are clear and packed with love. *huge hugs* you can do this! MWAH!!!!
    Wait another hug for you *HUGE HUG*

  2. I am a ball of emotion about this one myself; the words seemed to flow late last night, but thinking on them this morning, they feel so heavy, yet necessary…..thank you so much, dear!!! HUGE hugs back, Me

  3. Good morning VanesssaLeigh: I’m pressed for time this morning, being I’m just getting to work; so I’ll have to come back to read your post. Just dropping by to say I love your new blog presense. I do miss the jazzy girl on the old style however. But this one has a peaceful essense; more of your becoming; wheras I suspect the other was more of what you’ve come from. In any case; it is your words that bring me here; so I’m glad to be able to read them without the distraction; I would enjoy the words even on a blank canvass. But yes, the answer is yes – this style shows a reflection of what I imagine you to be – at peace with self; others; and all God’s creation! PLL, CordieB.

  4. Thanks, Cordie…. looking forward to your feedback on this one; it is true that there are practical reasons for changing my template, but the viewing of the top of my page brings serenity as soon as I see it; it is a reflection of self for sure!!! Peace to you, Vanessa

  5. Hi Vanessa, I’ve been meaning to stop by but have had a hectic few days. This letter is very powerful. Congrats to you for writing it. My question is, will they see this? Will you send it? Not that that’s the only important thing. I write LOTS to people I’m either mad at or hurt by or happy with, and never send them. I unload this way and I actually feel better if the person I wrote it to, never even saw it.

    This is a great letter.

    PS…this is my blog theme too. I just change my header image all the time. Great choice. It’s my favorite one. You know what they say about “great minds” don’t you?

  6. Joy: yes, I do know…. and there are many great minds around here! It seems like changing my headers will be a type of evolution for me, as Cordie described it, which makes perfect sense…….. Yes, this letter will be sent; it will be handwritten, and I am also sending a copy of it to my brother and sisters to let them know how I have addressed this. I am very careful not to speak for them, but hope that it can give them the strength to speak for themselves. This letter has been written in my mind and my heart for months now; I finally feel strong and ready enough to put the words down.

    I figured you have been hectic, Joy, but thank you so much for your feedback and for coming by.

  7. recovering: you are so welcome! NEVER lose hope, for today, life is good, and only gets better; please believe me when I say that to you……..

    Joy: I am so glad that you like it here; it is just little old me being me; but I am so grateful that what I have to say is meaningful to others…….. you are on my blogroll as well, still not sure how to put the blogroll on my front/main page……. but am glad you are comfortable…..

  8. nice post…i think sometimes writing or letter is one of the venue on how we can express ourself towards the people we love…i know, your parents will be touched with your letter…thanks for sharing Godbless

  9. *does major pom pom thingie* Did you really put their frequently asked questions up there??? lol dang girl I’m gonna do that to so that I can find it easy peasy me thinks – clever bean you are hmph why didn’t I think of that first!!! *goes off to sulk*

  10. Awesome letter Vanessa!

    By the way, why is it everytime I show up when someone has cookies all that’s left are a few crumbs? I suppose I need to whip up a batch of cookies and pass them do know I can cook don’t you?…Cooking is a lot like building a house..all you have to do is read the blueprint (or recipe) in this case.

  11. Hey DM! Thanks for the feedback. I feel pretty good about it, and know that it is full of love, which is my intent. Will be sending it off this weekend, I believe…….

    You cook? Nope, didn’t know, but would be glad to have some of your home baked goodness around here sometime. Next batch, I will save you a few, promise……..

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