I want to take this opportunity to tell you both how much I love you, and appreciate your presence in my life. You have both been such great supports to me, and have always let me know how much you love me, and how proud you are of me and what I have accomplished. That means so much to me. Your visit here a couple of weeks ago was such a great one, I feel like I was a grownup for the first time when I was having you both for a visit, like I was caring for you both, I was the hostess and you were getting to be the visitors and enjoy yourselves. Of course, that visit was way too short, but I know that we will be together again soon.
So much makes me appreciate and have concerns about both of you, as I get older, and as I know that you each have needs that you have to take care of, I worry more about how you are doing and that you are healthy and happy. Mom, I know that your problems with your back, and with your legs, are something that interfere with your daily living at times, but I also know that it is very important for you to not overdo it; for you to take it easy, and let other people help you, whether that is dad, or your kids, or your friends, you need to not do more than your body can handle. I am so proud of your getting in shape to stay more healthy, just please be safe. I know in what ways I am most like you; giving, loving, and wanting to help out others in need. I feel so close to you throughout my life, and feel so fortunate that I have had such a loving relationship with you over the years. Thank you for always being there for me.
Dad, I have always admired and had such respect for what you have sacrificed and done for our family. You taught me to work hard, always give my best, speak my mind, and to also be kind and fair to others. You also impressed upon me the need to always work my hardest to achieve what I want in life. I know that those qualities in you have always influenced the kind of adult that I have become, and I have never settled for second best because of that, I work my hardest to put forth my best foot. Sometimes, I drive myself crazy with that, but I know that even if my results are a disappointment, I have done my best. I worry about you as well; my worries for you are a little more complex, in that what I worry about for you is the elephant in the room, the issue that none of us as your children have ever discussed with you. Dad, I worry so much about your drinking. Maybe today, or even this week, you have given it up for a time, but I worry anyway. I worry because I know that the amount of alcohol that you consume is not healthy for a person; I know that you don’t appear as healthy as you could be, and that alcohol is part of that; I know that when you are stressed, upset, angry, or depressed, you tend to drink more and more often, and I can’t assume that you don’t have control over that, but I know it must be a challenge. I know, because I also have the legacy of addiction. I don’t say that to blame you, or in any form of resentment toward you, but I have to fight that battle, I have been fighting it my whole adult life. Sometimes, it has gotten the best of me, other times, I have full and effective control over it. Sometimes, it’s booze, sometimes it’s food, sometimes it’s unnecessary shopping and spending. For today, I know that I can have balance in my life, by moderating all of those activities.
I love you so much. There is no doubt about that. But, the bottom line is, I don’t want to lose you before it is absolutely necessary. I have thought about this letter so many times, but now, after this last visit, seemed like the right time to send it to you. You are an amazing person, and I have never doubted your love for me. Please, please do not doubt my love for you by the contents of my letter. I am writing this out of my love for you. I know that you need to make your own choices in life, and I will not think any different or less of you, no matter what happens after you receive this; my love and respect for you could never fade away. I just believe in truth, truth in the name of love, and that is what this is.
I love you both so much. I can’t wait to see you again…….