I am NOT an abomination!

I feel compelled to write about this due to a post that Amber has on her blog, and some of the feedback I know that typically comes from this topic:  HOMOSEXUALITY.  As I stated to a friend earlier today, I don’t get angry about the topic much anymore, as much as become determined, almost indignant, on needing to firmly state why I feel the way that I do about this.  And, I have to say, I would feel firmly that homosexuality is as natural in humanity as heterosexuality, even if I were not a lesbian.  But I am a lesbian, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am EXACTLY as God intended me to be.

Now, I am not writing this post as a testament to what science is proving in terms of sexual orientation and genetics; Amber has done a terrific job with that.  I am not writing this post as a way to quote passages of Scripture, to defend why they are misinterpreted.  I am writing this from a feeling, human perspective.  It is just the way that I do things, try to bring the personal perspective to the table, which is not always considered when the various sides of this issue take their positions and refuse to see another point of view as valid.

I feel firmly confident in the fact that God has created me, as well as millions of other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons, in His image, and exactly as He wanted us to be.  I would, and do, believe that regardless if science seemed to indicate that there is genetic differences or not, that God meant for this to be.  I feel fully connected to God and to my spirituality, not in spite of being gay, but because I am gay.  I am a kind, generous human being, I give willingly to others, I try to be fair and not wasteful, and I have a committed, lifelong partner whom I am devoted to.  We are raising a well adjusted, beautiful daughter and doing a fine job.  God has blessed us in so many ways, because of who we are.

This is usually where the conversation goes to the area of “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of statements, referring to being gay as being a “choice” of “lifestyle”, and that we are “giving in” to “sinful urges” without restraint.  While I will not be discussing my own sexual behavior here, since that is just not my style, I will say that sexual orientation, or in my case, being a lesbian, is about SO MUCH MORE than sexual behavior, sexual activity, sexual intimacy.  Yes, that is part of it in most of the couple relationships that I am acquainted with, as in most committed relationships.  That is PART of what connects two persons to one another.  But, think about it for a minute, when you meet someone that you know may be a significant person to you, one to whom you are attracted, how would you describe that attraction?  Some of us have had the experience of being attracted to a person physically or sexually only, with nothing else much there.  That has not been my typical experience, but that is not what I am talking about here.  I am talking about falling in love, being attracted to a person on all levels:  physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, soulfully, prayerfully- the heart to heart connection that comes with those that we fall in love with madly.  THAT is what orientation is about.  If I were to describe a heterosexual orientation as only about sex, or sexual attraction or intimacy, I would be diminishing it and leaving out so much else that describes and defines a couple relationship.

And, just as there are messed up persons in this world who are heterosexual, married or not, so is the case in the homosexual world as well.  Not much difference there.  However, there are many of us that are monogamous, in committed, long term relationships, who are not unfaithful and want to spend the rest of our lives together, God willing.  Would there really need to be a focus on what it is that we do intimately if we were allowed to be married?  If that were to sanction our committed relationship, then really, who would care how we conduct ourselves?  And, for those that think that the institution of marriage will be ultimately destroyed, and the foundation of our society shattered if homosexual persons are allowed to marry one another, wouldn’t you agree that marriage could use some help these days?  I mean, the most recent statistic is that almost half, if not half, of marriages end in divorce?  How can we worsen those types of numbers? Isn’t it remotely possible that we might boost the chances of happy marriage?

I know some people, many people actually, some of whom are gay, some not, who were raised in households and communities and churches, that told them that being a homosexual was against God, unnatural, and an abomination, and who believed it for much of their lives.  Some of those same people have had changes of hearts and minds over their lifetime, by realizing that being gay and being in God’s image could co-exist.  I am so grateful for those persons in my life.  I am so glad to know that instead of bringing out fear and loathing in other human beings, that I can illicit appreciation, compassion and joy at who I genuinely am. 

I am gay, I am worthy, I am loved, and I am a child of God. Amen.

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19 thoughts on “I am NOT an abomination!

  1. amen sis. I cannot believe that a God of Love who loved the world so that he sent his only Son … could ever be anything but a God who wants us to have love and be loved here on earth. Speaking from the perpective of a straight woman I thank you for your opinion and I second you. In fact I would add that two of the five healthiest relationships (partnerships/marriages) I know today are a lesbian and a gay couple.

  2. It is. I spent a good year of my life questioning my own sexuality, as I was never really attracted to men and very nearly ended up in a relationship with another girl. I really wanted a family, which kept me on the “straight and narrow” so to speak, but I’ve always wondered what would have happened had I explored my sexuality further. God only knows. A few people tell me I’m bi and in denial. 🙂

    In any case, I believe that we should allow people to journey for their truth and affirm that, and trust that if they are searching for God, God is what they will find. We can’t say “I’m the only one who knows the truth” and expect everyone to conform.

    God loves you, you love God, that’s enough for me.

  3. Awesome post, Lindsey. When we as LGBT persons heal our own self-image and gain a sense of self-respect for ourselves as equal children of Creator, we will have the respect of others because we respect and love ourselves.
    MsQueer

  4. Hi,
    Just wanted to invite you over to my new home if I haven’t already, to share my stories of what God has done in my life. Someone called me a spammer, I guess I could be called that. Spamming for Jesus… http://www.drunkdreamer8.com
    C.Apana

  5. This is beautiful, really beautiful in every sense of the word, wow! You know I am going to write about this but I will say in part here of what is going in there. People get side tracked by what is and isn’t sin, they forget the true meat of what God is and what he means by getting sidetracked with all the religion goobledy gook. I don’t care what colour your skin is, whether you are in a relationship with man or a woman, 90 or 18, whether you have one or two legs, I don’t give a dang… all I care about is who you are, who you really are, your soul.

    Who you are is my soul sister and dang am I proud to know you!

  6. AMEN is right. I can’t add to anything you have said. I just so strongly feel we have to love each other for they way we are and not always try to change anyone because of how “we see fit.” It’s not up to us. We have to live our lives the way we see fit and love each other FOR our differences.

  7. Thanks so much Joy, I heartily agree. As I said to SF earlier, it is so wonderful to meet so many persons willing to openly state that type of support; it is quite heartwarming to me. 🙂

  8. Amen! I used to get angry with people and their hypocrocies; also their need to feel superior, and in their need feed on self-rightous bigoted, racial, homophobic, and other displays of hatred. Now I simply pray for them; as I can not help most of them. What counts in any relationship is mutual love and respect – that is what you have plenty of. I don’t even have a problem with poly relationships if those involved have mutual love and respect. People often are afraid of that which they do not understand – but God put all of us here because he loved all of us – and I believe he expects us to love each other – beyond that I don’t think God is so boxed that he or she or the ultimate – cares. Just my opinion of course. Your cup runneth over dear Vanessaleigh – you are truly a Child of God -I can feel it even through the wires. Peace, Light and Love to you and yours. . . CordieB.

  9. Cordie: thank you so much for your beautiful words; they reall do mean so much. I have come to discover about myself that the anger, or hurt, that I would experience due to the words of others was an early stage in my process of self-actualization, and the more secure I have come to feel about myself and who I am in EVERY aspect, the less that animosity has touched me. I am so glad that you are around……. peace and hugs back to you, Vanessa

  10. wow Vee,

    it took me 35 years to realise who i am. i lost everything material, and i understand now it was probably self inflicted, in terms of breaking myself down as far as i could go. i started rebuilding, and i am in a truly amazing place in my life.

  11. Yay for you, amandzing! I thought of you as I was reading my comments today, hoping that you would find your way to this post. I am really glad to hear about you being in a better place now; coming out is not an event, but a journey or process; it does take years for many of us, but once we are there, WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 So glad that you are around….. Peace, v.

  12. wow! looks like I’m late to the party. Excellent post Vanessa! And it is interesting that when those who are against lgbt people talk about us, they immediately go to the physical acts, yet they don’t go there when talking about a young straight couple dating. We really need to find a way to get people talking about Affectional Orientation, instead of Sexual Orientation. My affections will always be attracted to someone who is the same gender as I am. Besides, just how much time does anyone spend in physical sexual intimacy? It’s a very small percentage of one’s life, eventhough it is important. I’ve also noticed that the love of my life isn’t necessarily they physical “type” I’m attracted to, nor am I his. However, we are deeply attracted to each other, not only physically, but emotionally as well. We love each other, which I suppose is why we’re tying the knot.

    Yes, Vanessa, you are a beautiful child of God. I don’t understand why our siblings wish to push us outside and lock the door.

  13. Amen and more applause for a great piece! I was just reading SanityFound’s fruit salad and the title caught my eye. I’m glad I looked!

  14. Keltic: Thanks friend. It came from the heart, and as I kept tapping into that feeling of pride and self-worth, the words flowed…… none of our dissenters and oppressors will EVER get me down……. Love ya, bud. 🙂

    Martha: Welcome! Thank you for your kind words. Any friend of SF is always most welcome here as well; she TOTALLY rocks!!! Vanessa

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