My sister wolf


I am so sad for my sister the wolf today.  On my way to work this morning, in the middle of the highway, I saw a wolf, dead, having been hit by a car.  She looked perfect, lying there, no damage, just still.

I was immediately filled with sadness.

You see, beyond everything else that is important to me:  peace, justice, love, forgiveness, compassion, hope, understanding……. at the root of who I am is my Native American heritage and roots.  It lives within my heart and soul.  It is my identity.  It is more than just a header on a blog page.  My roots are Native, I feel it, I sense it, I am called back to it time and again.  And, the wolf is my totem animal, that which I am in kindred spirit with more than any other living creature.  It fills me up and keeps me connected to Mother Earth and Great Spirit and all that is pure and real.

To see that wolf, lying on the road this morning, filled me with such sadness. 

The wolves, the deer, the foxes, the bear……. all have been here long before us.  Long before we encroached on their lands, invaded their territory, and pushed them into different areas of the country, they were the residents here.  They lived in cooperation with the original humans.  We respected their role in the cycle and circle of life.  We were in harmony with nature, but we also respected the role that nature and living creatures played.  We were influenced by their loyalty to one another…….

Now, we live in fear of these beautiful creatures.  For they also live in fear, so they are more aggressive and violent at times.  So, by protecting themselves, they get a bad rap.  They are to be exterminated for the good of the humans.  They are so misunderstood.

They are not supposed to be in Pennsylvania.  They have been forced out of their native land by humans, so now they are here, and we are afraid. 

I know I should be afraid, but I am sad.  So sad.  I grieve for the lack of understanding, I grieve for the precious lives lost, lives taken.  I grieve for my sister wolf.


68 thoughts on “My sister wolf

  1. Vanessa I don’t know what to say… other than Beautiful Post! I’ve always felt this way for all animals but I would never be able to put my feelings into words like you just did. Thank You

      1. aww poor wolf… they are my favourite animal… i think they are so beautiful and misunderstood… its like theres something magical about them

      2. I know! If I knew who killed that poor wolf then I would just kick them right there then just walk away. I don’t even care if it was an accident. Wouldn’t you do the same thing?

  2. smokeybones: Thank you, and thank you for your visit. You are always most welcome here. The connection that I feel for living things is so deep in me, and I appreciate feeling that way so much. It is nice to know a kindred spirit. Peace, Vanessa

  3. That was beautful. Thank you.
    Despite not having a drop of Native American blood in me, I too have strong feelings about Wolf.
    The first picture you posted of th wolf howling made me shiver; because when I was five, and first at school, I made a figure of a howling wolf in clay to give to my brother. The angle of the throat was just so. But on the way home with it, dried and painted a few weeks later, I was set upon by bullies who took it from me and smashed it.
    To see the wolf lying in the road broken by a car must have been so heartwrenching; here we see foxes, badgers, deer and sometimes even animals who are not meant to be here like lynx, and regardless, it breaks my heart. I usually try and stop and move the body from the road so it doesn’t get smushed and so the clean-up crew(crows etc) can do their job in safety. I used to keep a shovel in the car boot for the job.

  4. Viv: What a sad, sad memory for you……. I can envision your creation, and then to have others smash it is unthinkable.

    I had never thought of the idea of carrying a shovel to kindly put such creatures out of harms way; although it was on a very busy highway, the thought of driving by tomorrow and seeing it flattened upsets me even more…….

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    smokeybones: I feel honored that you wish to do so; feel free!

  5. I have only ever once hit an animal while driving, and that was a grey squirrel that threw itself under the wheels of my old Landrover while I was labouring uphill at about 10 mph! I also had a run in with a stoat, and despite driving a volvo at the time, the stoat won, which I may write about. If it is safe, I move animals I see. I once had to stop and move a fatally injured cat in a busy part of town, but no one argues much with an ex-military landrover and I just ignored the beeps as I moved the animal, got back and drove around the corner to be with him as he passed. It turned out to be the pet of a child my daughter knew from school, so I was glad to have been able to do it, and to be able to find the owners so he could be buried properly.
    One thing a very wise old friend of mine told me(after she had written off her car hitting a deer while driving through the forest at night) was that when an animal does step in front of your car, it’s as though they are giving something to you, in a spiritual sense, much like the descriptions old-time hunters have given of how sometimes a deer would present itself for the perfect shot, when the tribe/family were in dire need of meat. These days, few of us need the meat; but something else is given. I can’t explain better than this, though.

  6. WOW! I fell your sadness. When did it become our right to chase them from their home? To make them leave their land, their comfort zone. I bet, being native, you feel like they are apart of you. What would we do if someone, something came and uprooted us from our very being, or homes, our land? Would we be very nice, welcoming? Of course not, it is our and their nature and first impulse to defend in an aggressive way. It’s so sad, so unfair. Beautiful and thoughtful post V. I’m so sorry you saw that, not a great way to start your day. *hugs*

  7. We saw a fox yesterday. I didn’t realize how ‘immune’ I’d gotten to seeing dead animals by the side of the road until I saw one I didn’t expect to see. I’m sorry Vanessa, but thank you for this beautiful reminder.

  8. Viv: I remember hitting a squirrel, it ran rapidly right under my wheels……. it was awful. I have also hit two deer; they are so fast near our home. Each time, besides feeling scared, I was so upset by it. I will keep in mind what your wise friend told you, about a creature appearing before us. WHen I saw this wolf this morning, even though I was not the person who had hit it, I was certain, AM certain, there is a message in it for me. So goes by blog post for the day. THere is deep meaning in it for me.

    Nikki: Thank you for your thoughts. We have an arrogance of sorts much of the time about what we “own” on this earth. It is a sensitive issue for me, no matter how much I embrace convenience vs. what is better for the earth. Thanks for those hugs, hugging you back!

    Hayden: I know, we see so many animals killed by vehicle near us, but the ones that catch my breath the most, besides house cats, are foxes, wolves, lynx……. I wish they were still safe in their habitats, the woods we now call our own…….

  9. As I understand it, Wolf is the totem of the teacher. But even within that, there are variations. The lone wolf, the pack leader and all the various wolf roles have their equivalent in teaching.
    Perhaps, as a teacher yourself(which you clearly are) you crave a teacher, a mentor yourself right now and the death of this wolf reminds you of a teacher you have lost. Just a thought; ignore it if it’s off the mark.

  10. That could be for me; what I have also been experiencing lately is a desire to get back to these roots, more actively, of my Native blood. In addition, I have been using a lot of different tools lately for my own growth, but have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately at times.

    I am seeking clarity, a bit more than usual, that is for sure…

    Thank you so much for this input; I didn’t know that of the wolf! Have a peaceful day; hugging you back! V.

  11. I am very sad also. I am a “feeder” of all nature on my 80 acres. I love watching the animals gather and eat here and I watch them more than anything else. I can sit and look out my window and get caught up there for hours on end. I hate seeing dead animals on the road. HATE IT!! Poor thing.

  12. That is so sad about the wolf. For some reason, I sometimes feel deeper pain for animals than I do for humans.

    I didn’t know you are Native American. What a wonderful heritage.

  13. This is the info for Wolf that comes with the medicine cards I mentioned. Hope it is helpful.

    Moon-dog of my soul.

    Teaching how to know.

    Wolf is the pathfinder, the forerunner of new ideas who returns to the clan to
    teach and share medicine. Wolf takes one mate for life and is loyal like Dog
    In the Great Star Nation, Wolf is represented by the Dog Star,
    Sirius, which legend tells us was the original home of our teachers
    in ancient times. Sirius was thought to be the home of the gods by
    the ancient Egyptians, and is still considered so by the Dogon tribe
    in Africa. It stands to reason that Native American peoples would
    formulate this same connection and adopt Wolf people as the clan of

    The senses of Wolf are very keen, and the moon is its power ally. The
    moon is the symbol for psychic energy, or the unconscious that holds
    the secrets of knowledge and wisdom. Baying at the moon may be an
    indication of Wolf’s desire to connect with new ideas which are just
    below the surface of consciousness. Wolf medicine empowers the teacher
    within us all to come forth and aid the children of Earth in understanding
    the Great Mystery and life.

    If you have drawn Wolf’s card, you may be able to share your personal
    medicine with others. Your intuitive side may also have an answer or
    teaching for your personal use at this time. As you feel Wolf coming alive
    within you, you may wish to share your knowledge by writing or lecturing
    on information that will help others better understand their uniqueness
    or path in life. It is in the sharing of great truths that the consciousness
    of humanity will attain new heights. Wolf could also be telling you to seek
    out lonely places that will allow you to see your teacher within. In the
    aloneness of a power place, devoid of other humans, you may find the
    true you. Look for teachings no matter where you are. Wolf would not
    come to you unless you requested the appearance of the tribe’s greatest


    If Wolf is reversed, you are being asked to expand your limited view of
    the present situation. Doing this may entail a great deal of courage
    and a willingness to look at new ideas. It could also require that
    you delete some old ideas to make room for the expansiveness that
    always comes when you are willing to learn. The gift of wisdom comes
    to you when you have walked enough pathways and found enough dead ends
    to truly know the forest. In the discovery and rediscovery of every
    inch of ground comes the knowledge that nothing ever remains the same.

    Contrary Wolf may also be telling you that stagnation or fear of
    asserting your viewpoint has bogged down the flow of change in your
    life. Wolf reversed is [always] urging you to seek the teachers or
    pathfinders that will show you the way to new life experiences.
    Remember, the teacher or pathfinder may be the small still voice
    within, as well as a person, a leaf, a cloud, a stone, a tree, a book,
    or the Great Spirit.

    To live is to grow, and growing comes through accepting all life forms
    as your teachers. Become Wolf, and take up the sense of adventure. You
    may just stop howling and learn to [become] the moon.

  14. Viv: I have been away; so am just checking back with the info that you have given me, so thank you! I want to check out that link, and I do have a set of medicine cards here at home, but haven’t done the set for awhile. The profile information that you list above sounds much like what I have read before regarding wolf, and this sounds so much like who I am and where I am at at this point in my life. I have always been a seeker, but now feel more compelled than ever to find lessons in everything that I encounter, but to really concentrate on the most important parts……..

    Joy: I know, I always feel it deeply when I wild creature is killed; it is so hard. So many acres, what a blessing for you!!! I am glad that you have such a deep appreciation for it…..

    Leah: I know that within our little family, we also at times feel that deep compassion more for the animals of this world; that is why we are so prone to rescue stray animals, and why our house is so crowded with additional family members!!!!

  15. Ohh yes yes…!! I can totally relate about all that you have said and expressed and so beautifully done. I would have been so ignorant all this while, hadn’t I been to the trip that I went to…!! We saw an injured deer on our way back from one of our treks and we had to call in the forest department as it was very small and reall weak to even move..! But we had to push it back in the forest as it was lying just by the road side..and was hit by the truck…and we didnt want any other rash drivers just crushing it even more…! Some people just dont realise the importance that wild life plays in our life…and when they do realise I hope its not too late for them.

  16. Hi Vanessa! This is unusual for you – more than a week’s silence! Are you OK? Please, drop a post, if only single line – relieve my mind… I miss you dear friend! Even if I do not blog myself right now, I hope you appreciate me expressing my worry about your absence here..

    Hugs from me and tabby, currently sitting on top of our dinner table : D

  17. What a beautiful, sensitive post…reminds me of the book Women Who Run With Wolves…the photos are gorgeous as well…I had no idea, actually, that there is a wolf problem here in PA…?

  18. Deeps: So glad that you had the experience that you did on your recent trip; I have come across injured animals in the past also, and it is so hard to see them suffer in pain. I have also seen the beauty in our own backyard of the freedom of them roaming, it is amazing…..

    Tess: I am here, just been unable to get to here, but have a great new post coming…… I miss you too, honey, and pet that pretty kitty for me…..

    Psychscribe: I have that book on my shelf, but never read it; need to do that, though.

    I don’t know the extent of the issue here, but I had heard that there have been numerous sitings in upstate New York, and some of my coworkers have also seen them here in the Poconos. There are coyotes also, and foxes, but this was unmistakably a wolf.

    I saw a wolf pup dead on my trip last week. They are innocent…..

  19. I too have Native blood filling my veins and when presented with the chance to express my emotional connection with animals to people who identify with me, I jump on it! I don’t know what the connection is, if its identity, mental, or something bigger than us but it is there. Yesterday my father hit a mama duck. She was still alive when I picked her up to see if we could save her… She died in my hands. I felt as if she became a part of me, a part that intensified my awareness to my surroundings. My father and I buried her and said a prayer for her soul. I said one for his, he was so sad. We have taken their land and I will always be filled with the notion that we need to do our part to live harmoniously with all animals, human and not. We can do our part by riding our bikes more often, not only are we helping take care of our Mother Earth but animals will not die at the wheels of cars. Just a small thing we can do to help sustain life. Thank you for listening!

  20. Abby: I hope that you will visit again; you sound like a kindred spirit to me. I am so sad for you and the death of the duck. My partner and I and our daughter live on a full acre of land, and the deer roam through frequently, as well as turkeys, turtles and the occasional bear. To know that they have all been confused and displaced, so that WE can all have more convenience angers all of us. We all feel very connected to our animal friends, and have even named some of the deer that wander through from fawnhood to adulthood. Our Mother Earth needs more of us to be connected and to care, I am glad that you are the way that you are and it was great to hear your story. BTW, our doggie’s name is Abby as well, and she is our love! Peace, Vanessa

  21. i may not have your heritage, but the wolf is my spirit.

    “…As a white wolf waking among the sheep
    Life is not what it seems
    You cannot see all that you would fear
    You might not be listening
    But the voices are still there
    A thousand wolves howl to an unseen moon
    The world itself loses all that it would be
    And we would walk among you, the destroyers
    Slowing and hindering your supposed progress
    Or die as the stubborn fools that we are at heart.
    You reach for the sky without wings
    But we will run as we were born
    Run till you run out of time.”

    Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

    1. My friend has inquired at to the author of your post on the White Wolf. Google can find no author than you. I would like to make an honest citation, so please verify if you are indeed the author of this moving poem. Thank you. Chris

      1. Hi Chris: Thank you for your visit. I have not written a poem about wolves, or a white wolf for that matter. The only writing that I have done is this very blog post that you see here. I hope that clears it up a bit. Peace, Vanessa

  22. Anna: Welcome! I am so happy to meet a kindred spirit; wolf calls to me so deeply, as to all animals, but none above that lovely creature. Your words are deep and meaningful, and thank you so much for coming by!!! Peace, Vanessa

  23. hi am askin why do wolves howl at da moon my nme ambaar am in yr5 our teacher told as to find out so i cme to ask u do u mind answer me plz do this ques is due 2morow in da afternoon

  24. I may have little Native American blood in me, but wolves are my favourite animals out of the whole, wide, world. I know they’re missunderstood, and I wanna do something about that. But I can’t, I am to afraid of what will happen if I protest about wolves when the police come.
    Iam sorry about your wolf sister, let her R.I.P.

  25. I feel more pain for animals than I do for humans sometimes because animals were here first and we took what belonged to them. I feel guilty for being human. I feel sorry that we are the ones who took more than half the lives of those who nturally existed on earth. Peace.

  26. Hey Supernova: Glad to see you visit; welcome to the blog!!! I feel for my fellow creatures, four leggeds and two leggeds, who suffer and who are “in the way” of development. Every hunting season, we hold our breaths to see which of our deer family members who hang out in our yard won’t be back. I feel like so many of us humans are on a fast track to get things done, and to achieve what we most desire, that we lose sight of all that was original here; water, air, life, animals, the blessed mother Earth. We are killing it all.

    However, to cope with that, I grieve the losses, and then I just try to make whatever difference myself and our family can make to be gentle, kind, and loving toward the earth and all of its creatures. It helps me to keep it in perspective.

    I hope that you will visit and read again soon. Peace to you. Vanessa

  27. That really touched me. I’ve always wanted to say that, but just haven’t found the words. That was amazing. You rock.

  28. Emma: Thank you so much for your visit, and your words. The wolf calls to my soul in so many ways, and I always try to speak from the soul here at my blog. I hope that you will visit again. Peace, Vanessa

  29. wow Being wolf clan aniwaya of my people here in the great cherokee county Thank you for this splendid spiritual post> We must all understand the wolf is not our enemy but our friend. To us he is our brother. thanks again. In the Spirit of the wolf & hawk, Waya

  30. Thank you for visiting Waya. You are so right; there must be a level of understanding about our wild friends, brothers and sisters. We live in the country, and see our beautiful wildlife being pushed out of their natural habitats. We do what we can to be kind to mother earth and our fellow creatures. Peace, and please visit again if you will. Vanessa

  31. Wow… I feel that exact same way about wolves. They are my favorite animal, and I just can’t stand to see or hear about any wolf that has been killed or injured in an unjust way. Anytime I see an animal that has been hit by a car, I am filled with such a sadness that I can’t stop thinking about it. And with a wolf, I can’t even imagine the sorrow I would feel. I don’t live around wolves, though there are foxes and deer along with other smaller animals, but I have a strong passion and admiration for them. Wolves are truly intelligent and strong animals, and humans shouldn’t use their fear of them to go against these beautiful creatures.

  32. Kayla: Thank you for your visit and your comments. Yes, it is totally unjust, and myself and my family feel for our fellow living creatures so much, whether it be deer, bear, foxes, or the wolf. The wolf is not supposed to be near us, and there are coyotes here also. I really think this was a wolf that I saw, but regardless, we have invaded their land and now they are the ones paying for it. Sad, but true. Thanks so much for your kind words…… Peace, Vanessa

  33. thats so sad how stupid r the people theres oviosly a big wolf in front of ur car u dont just drive into it u try and swerve and i understand sometimes u cant but its still sad

  34. Hello newest visitor:

    Welcome. I like to believe that people don’t intentionally hit animals on the road, but the highways are so busy accidents happen. However, they were here first. We invade what was originally theirs, and it is truly sad.

  35. Hey Vanessa,

    I was searching Google Images when I found a picture from your blog! I love wolves, they are my favourite animal, and this post is just amazing! I love the way you just express your feelings so freely like that. Wolves fill me with a magical thrill, and I hate the fact that people go against them because of stupid fairytales that involve “The Big Bad Wolf” and they don’t know that actually, wolves don’t eat humans. This post is so vividly written… I love it!

    From Freya 🙂 (I have a WordPress account too and I’m making a few blogs… feel free to check them out if you want.)

  36. Freya: Thank you for your comment; I have such great respect for wildlife, but many in this world do not. Similar to Native Americans, the animals along with Native Americans were the first to live on this land, and have great respect for their Earth Mother. I wish more people were in tune in this way. Thank you for your kind words. Peace, Vanessa

  37. i love wolfs they are really something i always wandered what it would be like to be a wolf XD but i love wolfs

  38. Wolfs are my animal they can do eny thingthey have some thing about them that is speshol.I wish i was one i love them so much i have a wolf mix as one of my dogs there r so beauteful and mugestic 😀

  39. i have loved wolfs all my live and i think the oictures are beutiful i always come on to see the nice pictures you put thankyou.

  40. melanie: Thanks for the visit; yes, to be a wolf would be an adventure!!!!

    nadz: welcome; yes, I am glad that it was an accident; sad, but yet, I did have some understanding. I just wish more humans did. Thank you for your compassion……

    Tabitha: welcome! How cool to have a wolf mix dog! I have wanted one of those in my life! They are so majestic and special…..

    Jenna: Thank you for the visit and kind words. Come back anytime…..Peace.

  41. Greetings Vanessa, I was merely sherching through google images on wolves when I came across your blog. Well done, it is nice to see that more and more people are taking an interest in these wonderful creatures. Though I yet be in the summer of my youth, I know how it is you feel. Since I was abut a young lad I have felt an inept connection to these beasts whos ways have always been clear to me, sometimes even more then those of modern men. The wolf is to my spiritual totem and the blood that flows through my vains by its nature feel Kindred to the wolf. Much can be learned from them. They are regulators of the lands that I hold dear. It is by their will that the dear, the elk, and all grow strong, yet I shall not wast time in Preaching trivial knowledge that I am sure you are well aware of, that can be saved for a later time. Since I was young I have sought, or rather more so pondered, the reason for my nature and it’s form that it is contained within, and it was in the pursuit of that wisdom that I discoverd my purpous. I have discoverd love and frienship, yet there is so much more that must be done. My love and my allies shall start the movement to be as the vangaurd joing group that I know are doing the same some great aid in this cause from growing organizations such as the Nature conservatives. Liberty shall be wom and earned. No longer is it enough to hope, the term ask and though shalt recieve is outdated the gods shall do nothing that we will not do our selves. In the protection of ones desires I think it wise to act brutally and compleet. your blog is quite emotioal and you should be proud as for every persone who reads your voice is spread to all they encounter. spread your virtu for it is pure, and diserving of respect. Those of Greatness differ from the mass in that they expect from themselves what others expect of them. Forgive me though I tried to keep this brief I got ahead of my self. farewell keep on it vanessa you are doing great

  42. Zac: Thank you for your visit; I can identify with the strong connection with these beautiful creatures; I am so glad to meet a like minded soul! Peace to you and your four legged friends, Vanessa

    Tera: So true! Thank you for stopping by!

  43. thank you because i know how you feel. i am cherokee indian and love animals and will do anything for them. people see me and think i am a hippie and in a sense i guess i am but it is so much more than that. yes i want peace and order in life but i also know that sometimes it’s impossible because war and discord are human nature so i will not disrupt the peace and be rowdy and violent and go to a protest but i would rather protest in my own quite, peaceful way, and i would like for you to join me. I do not have a company and do not belong to anything and that is probably because i’m only thirteen, but i ask you to help animals and nature whenever you can and to volunteer. if your already doing this then delete this comment and go on with your life but please spread this message and remember our world changes when we do and if we change for the better one person at a time then so will it.

  44. renoirelover: Welcome, and thank you for your comments. Whether you are thirteen or not, you care and are connected to the living creatures around you; that is a blessing. Peace to you and yours. Vanessa

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