I am scared.

Tomorrow, I say goodbye to my kitty cat.  My friend of fifteen years.  Einstein.  Tomorrow is the long trip to the vet.  I can no longer watch him suffer, knowing that he is probably in pain.  It is time.

But, I am scared.  This is the first time that I will have taken a pet on my own to the vet, to be put down.  I plan on sitting with him, through it all.  I have never done that before.  I am scared.  Scared of what it will be like.

Yet, I know it is the right thing.  I want him to hear my voice telling him that I love him until he passes.  He deserves that from me.

There are so many people that have no respect or admiration for animals, no liking for pets.  I feel that every living creature deserves our compassion, respect, admiration.  I feel their spirits, connected to me inside, in tune with my own soul.  That is why our family has adopted so many animals.  They are all part of us.

He has moved with me, loved me when I felt like no one else did.  He has slept over my head and for the last few days, has been reaching his paw out, so gently, to have physical contact with me.  He knows it is time, and he knows that I know.  He told me that he is ready.  And, even when I feel so afraid, I know that I am ready also.

I know that I will be okay, but it is a goodbye that I have been dreading, but know I have to say.

Please, say a prayer tomorrow evening for my dear friend to have a safe journey to the other side.


11 thoughts on “I am scared.

  1. Oh, I’m so sorry about your cat. 😦 I also have a cat, and I know how much these pets are a part of the family. My thoughts are with you.

  2. God’s loving kindness is over all that He has made. I am sure He has seen the love you’ve given to your precious cat all these years. How that must please Him. Now I pray you’ll know God’s comfort.

  3. Serious whimsey: Welcome, and thank you for your words. They are also a comfort to me; today, my knowing is that my kitty is in heaven, with God and all of his angels…..

    I hope that you will visit again. Peace, Vanessa

  4. I do know how hard this is. I was thinking and thinking about you. I had to do this 3 years ago and my “little boy” was 17 years old. “He knows it is time, and he knows that I know.” This is how it was for me as well. We all knew and it was the hardest thing I’ve had to do by myself. Prayers to you and please let us know how you are and how it went.

  5. I know this is hard for you. I was with my kitty when she died. We all loved her and visit her grave in the backyard often. It’s been 2 years and I still have her pic on my camera.

    A program on NPR was so reasuring about the end of a cat’s life. The vet said it was like falling asleep for the cat and there was no pain. She even said if being in the vet’s office was stressful for the cat, she would give the drugs to the cat in the owner’s car.


  6. Joy: Thank you so much. I am amazed at how deeply this rings with people; so completely intimate and real, and the connection is so deep with others.

    Tiny: Wow, what a great vet in that story, and my vet was much the same. When it was all over, they had wrapped him so gently, and the took me out the side door, to my car, without having to worry about paying right then. They carried my stuff for me so I could carry him……it was really beautiful.

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