A deep intimacy

Deep intimacy.  Seems a bit redundant, doesn’t it?  Yet, it isn’t in my mind.  Deep intimacy has a definite life and attitude of its own.  Intimacy is not by definition, deep, and let me tell you why.

Think about intimate moments that you have been involved in.  Have they all been deeply driven by the contents of your heart?  I know for me, I have gone through intimate encounters with a person, without my heart being fully present.  For several reasons, whether throwing myself away, or giving in to the physicality of it all, it is a sharing of intimate moments, without the fullness of the heart being there with you.  That is why I believe that not all intimacy is deep.

There is some intimacy, thank God, that is truly deep.  A couple that come to mind for me, in my presence of life at this moment, and with what the events have been lately, are very meaningful to me.  One, has to do with the recent experience of losing my pet cat this week.  His death impacted me in such a profound way, as I expected that it would.  What the deep intimacy is that is related to him is his actual death.  What depth there is to death, when we remove ourselves from the fright and the disturbing details of it.  It is one of the closest ways to connect with a living creature, is to be present, fully present, for their passing.  It is so powerful that it is hard to describe.

And, it isn’t as if that intimacy is a way to deal with the fear of it.  It comes when we have been able to let go of the fear and are also ready and willing to let that person, or pet, go on.  Cross over.  That really is the most difficult part for me, the letting go.  Yet, what power and what a full testament to love that is!  It is truly incredible………..

The other example of deep intimacy comes to me whenever I watch the movie, “Twilight”.  And, I have to admit, I have watched it now on DVD about ten times.  I am totally addicted to this movie.  To the love that binds the two main characters, Edward and Bella.  It reminds me so much of the love that my beloved and I share (except for the vampire part!).  The depth of the eyes is where that intimacy lies, with the two of them and with the two of us.  When we first were together, thirteen years ago, the occasion on which we fully, deeply looked into each others’ eyes, was absolutely indescribable.  We actually saw each other’s souls.  It was truly amazing.  Deep intimacy. 

Letting go, trusting, and believing that we deserve to connect with others in this manner is all that stands between us having it, or not.  It is well within the grasp of every one of us.



5 thoughts on “A deep intimacy

  1. WOW…..my first visit! I have been meaning to, but you know how things go. What a profound interpertation and all I say is I totally get it. Not something everyone is capable of though. So comforting to read! Have a great vaca…..give Donald a hug from me!

  2. Colleen: Hey you! I hope that you will come back again and again!!! I truly love to write and just put down whatever I am processing, in my mind, heart and soul! I am so glad that you get it, and I think fear is what stands in the way of more people “getting it”! I always have hope that eyes and souls will be opened……

    And, BTW, Donald got a big old hug from me! And I thought of you when I saw him! V.

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