Prayer and reflection


I am pretty closely connected to God.  What I mean by that is, I feel pretty close to Him.  I feel His presence in my everyday living, I have a full appreciation  and feeling of gratitude for all that He has created. 

And, I pray.  A lot.  Not always in a kneeling position with my palms clasped together.  But, just in my quiet thoughts.  In the smile that comes to my face as I consider the beauty of the earth.  As I am thankful for my life.  When I admit to Him that I trust that He knows what will be for me.

But this week, Holy week for Christians, I feel closer to Him than at any other time of the year.  I feel closest at this time of year to Jesus, for His sacrifice for all of us.  I appreciate Jesus’ honesty, his ambivalence, his doubt.  But most of all, his deep abiding love for me.

You see, I have no doubt that I have been created exactly as I was meant to be.  I have no doubt, AT ALL, that I am a beloved child of God.  And, I absolutely adore Jesus, and what he represented, and still does.  To me, Jesus emulated humanness, in its most vulnerable forms, and its most basic forms.

Love.  Trust.  Faith.  Doubt.  Kindness.   Compassion.  Sacrifice. 

I know that no matter what my church may say, what the Bible may say, or what people that I meet may say to the contrary, I am beloved by God, and Jesus, and Jesus would have welcomed LGBT persons with open arms, wide and ready for an embrace that was genuine and divine.  I feel his embrace often, especially when I become discouraged at the attitudes of those that believe that I am not okay as the person I am, as  a gay person.

Every year, at this time of year, I think all week of the journey that Jesus made.  Walking the towns near Jerusalem.  Taking shelter in a home, and partaking of his last supper.  The betrayals.  The violence.  The doubt, even while on the cross, of what was in store for him.  His death.  His resurrection.

What a beautiful testament of love.  To think that God loved us all that much, to give up his only son, in the name of love? 

That is worthy of my praise, my reflection, my gratitude.  True beauty, indeed.



6 thoughts on “Prayer and reflection

  1. I feel so much as you do — a deep connection with God. I also have always prayed and felt a deep connection with those who do pray. If God created man/woman in His image, then he has to love us and we have to be perfect just the way we are. After all, if you’re God, why would you create something “wrong?” A Happy Easter week to you Vanessa.

  2. I agree. . . I’m sure God loves you just as he loves everyone. And I don’t think Jesus is half as judgmental as the fundamentalist Christians want to make him out to be. I like to think of him as the most loving, open-minded and kind person ever. 😀

  3. Tiny: It is an awesome feeling, isn’t it? That deep connection. God makes no mistakes, I know that for sure and certain…..

    Leah: Thanks for that; I wish more people saw it as we do; it feels as Christian as it could be!

    Deeps: Thanks girl!

  4. Sisters in Christ,

    I too seek and enjoy that oneness with Christ. I think the best description of what seek to convey, was from the book, Practicing the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence. It really helped raise the bar for me as to what intimacy with God was. It is short and sweet and you can find it available for free in both the original old english and the contemporary. The latter is easier to read, but the former is beautiful.

    In my quiet times of prayer, I ask Him to continue to make me anew, heart, body, mind, and spirit. I ask Him to point out my sins that keep me from becoming His likeness. As he does, sometimes gently, sometimes strongly, I work to surrender those to Him in those areas. Over the years HE (not me) has reshaped me to my core. His word points the way for us to do this.

    Please read the following slowly and “hear” them in the quiet, gentle, loving way that they are coming from my heart to yours.

    You are all correct – God doesn’t create any mistakes. God created our first parents in perfection, but their disobedience to God’s word brings the tarnish of sin on ALL of us and the social systems we create are tainted by it.

    Male, female, gay, straight, blonde, brunette, none are what he originally intended. Jesus WAS the perfect human, but He IS also GOD, and He says in scripture that He will judge all in the end. Thankfully, we can be seen as worthy of heaven if make Him our Savior, believing by faith that He died for our sins, past present, and future, (it sound like you have done this) AND OUR LORD, allowing Him to remake us as He leads into His image again – PERFECT. Of course, that won’t be complete until we have passed from this life to the next.

    The ground is level at the foot of the cross for you and me. We are both on equal (sinful) footing. As brothers and sisters, if we are in Christ, we should love each other as we are, BUT, be encouraging each other to seek His transforming will and ways in prayer and ALL of scripture (not just the part we like) as He reveals it to us.

    Loving you like you are, Jim

  5. Jim: Thank you for visiting my blog. I always appreciate visitors with all points of view.

    Some of the words which you say ring true with me. And, I feel great love in what it is you say and you believe. And, I know that there are things that I have done, maybe even continue to do, that would be considered “sinful”, in the eyes of God. However, being gay is not one of them. I am totally sure of that.

    I know that only God can be the ultimate judge, however, I know what my own truth is within me, one that does not harm others, rather, carries on Jesus’ message of love of one another. That is what most matters to me; to live a life rich in truth, and in love.

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