Some days, I wonder and glow at the idea of how ordinary our un-ordinary life is. Wait for the smell of the coffee brewing automatically in our kitchen. Opening up all of our shades and curtains to let in that natural light. Walking our dogs, feeding our cats, and getting ready to face the work day.
Ordinary, in so many ways.
In other words, I am just living my life. And, loving my wife.
I am gay. There is no doubt about that. And, I no longer hide in shame from that, although I have in the past, and the hiding seemed like a good, safe idea at the time. Safe for others maybe, others to not have to face it. Safer than having to look at myself with loving honesty in the mirror. But, the shame was devastating, and I see it slowly destroy the souls of so many that believe that they cannot be out.
Being gay is not the only part of me, but it is an ESSENTIAL part of me. I not only accept it and embrace it, I openly and lovingly CELEBRATE and announce it. And why not? Why not rejoice and pay tribute to every wondrous part of my self?
So many persons that I know that are gay, and in various phases of coming out, don’t tell or become more open about it because they don’t believe that it is anyone else’s “business” about who we love. I disagree. I want to make my happiness and bliss and love for my beautiful soulmate the story of my life that gets told, not locked away in my heart somewhere. Love, my friends, is meant to be shared in my way of thinking.
So, I am living my life and loving my wife.
And, for those that say that it doesn’t “matter that you are gay; that doesn’t matter to me”; I want you to do better for me than that. It should matter, because it is as important a part of me as all other wonderful parts: my gayness. It is okay to think about it, talk about it, pray about it. Believe me, I am totally okay and free and joyous and proud to be every inch, every fiber of who I am. SO, you can feel really good about it, too.
Love me, love my wife. For, she is my wife in all ways, you know. Except the license. But, that will come someday, I know it. Come over for a barbeque, share our joy, laugh with us, help us when we grieve, join in the dance of life that we dance each and every blessed day.
Ordinary, but not. Perfect.