Let go. Let go. Then, let go some more. It is one of the key lessons of my life journey, alas, one of the main lessons I would guess for most of us. The art of letting go of that which is not ours to possess; the issues that have relevance to those that we love, rather than to us. The actions, thoughts, words and deeds of others, that we have no control over.
It is often espoused as letting go, and letting God. To me, the word that empowers it most is the word, surrender. And, not surrender in the sense of giving up in defeat; but rather, letting go in love. Turning it back over to the other person. It has tremendous power and it is a gift that we give ourselves, although I don’t always view it that way.
At times, for me, letting go is difficult, because I am certain that the “stuff” that is going on with someone else is really about me. When they stop calling. When they don’t seem to acknowledge me. When they seem detached or uninterested, before I surrender, I am sure that I have done something wrong, even after searching my soul and knowing that I have not.
Their stuff is their stuff. Surrender. Be peaceful. Let go, IN LOVE……..
However, the true lesson for me comes in not just letting go, but in addition to that, asserting myself in knowing that I am okay just as I am. Letting go, or letting someone have their stuff to sort through, does not then become an excuse to let others walk all over us. We can let them have their own “stuff” to take care of, without doing it at our expense, without trampling on our feelings. Assertion; making it known that even though we are letting go in love, we also have self-love, and self-respect, and we don’t deserve to be mistreated or abused.
In the past, I would slink away, kind of letting go, and never asserting what it is that was going on. Then, I phased into kind of standing up and asserting myself about what was going, but never really, TRULY letting go.
Letting go, surrendering to what is, takes LOTS and LOTS of practice, at least for me. I can always let go in love, but I can never let go for long. The nagging continues about what REALLY happened between us. So, what I do, that helps me to focus on the love of other, and myself, AND it keeps me settled about it, is that I reach out, here and there, in love. You see, I have that moment when I am letting go, surrendering, even in love, when I am making it really all about me. What have I done? Don’t you love me anymore?
Why won’t you talk to me?
When I truly, surrender in love, I am able to let go, be somewhat peaceful with it (as this is still evolving, TBH) and send off a message to that person, telling them what they mean to me, and that I am always here for them. That I care about what happens to them, and that I am always around.
In a way, that is my way to surrender AND assert, because then I can peacefully leave it be, and let it be what it is to be. It makes the letting go less about me, more about them, and ultimately about what the two of us have shared. It completes the circle.
Something that the Universe told me in my daily doses today, is that we are all responsible for our own happiness, but the true knowledge, is in realizing that we are also responsible for our own UNhappiness.
So, off I go to take that into my own hands, surrender and assert, and let go in love.
And, make it all my own, what is mine to own……..