I am not a sinner.




I may be many different things:  unique, emotional, impulsive, tender, assertive.  But I am no sinner.  


I know that may strike some readers, those that are not accustomed to visiting here, as offensive and against God.  If so, and if you don’t care to look at it a bit differently, then you probably should not read past this sentence.  If you have any notion of opening up your thinking a bit, or know where I am going with this, by all means, read on. 


I believe in God, I believe in Jesus and his teachings, and that the Universe is powerful, but good.  I also believe that people are inherently good, and that life often creates scenarios where they take bad turns.  I don’t believe in evil, and I don’t believe that people are born, bad.


I also don’t believe, no wait, let me rephrase:  I KNOW that I am not a sinner, especially not one because I am gay.  NO WAY.  I am not real knowledgable in the concept of sin through organized religion, but even if I were, I don’t know that I would believe that it was anything except a creation of manmade religion in order to keep people in line.  However, if I DID believe in it, I would not believe that homosexuality in and of itself was sinful. 


Why?  Because, a person being who it is they are born as does not make one a sinner.  I was born gay, I am pretty sure of that.  I would not actively choose this, I am just about certain, because the road is really difficult and challenging.  However, I was born good, and part of my identity that came with my delivery was my sexual orientation.  Therefore, it is not sinful.


Now, if I did believe in sin, there may be some level of debate I would be willing to participate in regarding sexual activity outside of a committed relationship.  However, I don’t believe in sin.  What I DO believe in, is that we all  make poor choices in our lives.  I don’t think that anyone around can say that they have never made a poor choice of one kind or another; a choice that hurt themselves, or someone else.  However, we all have the capacity for growth and change.  So, if I do something that hurts another person, I can always make amends and change my behavior for the future.


And, being gay for me is not a behavior, or a choice, or a lifestyle.  I am being who I was born to be.  I am being who God created me to be.  Again, God created me in His image.  Gayness and all. 


I don’t want to argue with those who are of religious minds and feel that what I say about this is totally wrong and against God and the Bible.  Sure, I am willing to listen, but I will not tolerate being ridiculed or condemned.  I will listen as long as I am also listened to.  I mean, respect has to be mutual, or it isn’t true respect.


I am hungry for dialogue.  I have come to feel a calm resolve in the fact that the difficult conversations are only difficult if we don’t allow both sides to participate.  Sure, they are uncomfortable, but we all can survive them.  People disagree, but in the end, we can still have respect and admiration for one another.  At least in my world they can.


And, in my mind, Jesus would have his arms wrapped lovingly around me, just for being who I am.


15 thoughts on “I am not a sinner.

  1. I’m a Christian and I agree with you. I don’t believe for one moment that my loving Father would condemn gay people to life without the possibility of having the kind of relationship that is just taken for granted amongst straight people.


  2. Of course you’re not a sinner! It’s wonderful to see your journey of discovery in faith. It always takes me a couple readings to get the fullness of your posts!
    They are packed with thoughtfulness!

    Send me an email (you can find my addy on my blog). I’d love to share some things with you a bit more privately.

  3. Mary: Welcome!!!! And, thank you so much for your comment. I truly believe that being a Christian and being gay are not mutually exclusive…….. Jesus loves me just the way that I am! I hope that you will visit soon!!!! Peace, Vanessa

  4. I don’t believe in sin as it is purely a judgement based upon fear, but I believe in truth and truth is always free of any mind’s recognition. The soul doesn’t care of what sex another soul embodies and neither should we!

    God/Love is unconditional! 🙂

  5. The people that I feel sorry for are those that worry about sinning and sinners so much. To me they are the ones dwelling in darkness and missing the light. What a waste of divine energy.

    I think your last sentence summed it up perfectly,

    “And, in my mind, Jesus would have his arms wrapped lovingly around me, just for being who I am.”

    I totally agree!!

    Good energies and peace of heart to you,


  6. Inward sun: You are so right; that label does just up the ante to judge others. I firmly believe that each of us just do the best that we can at any given moment of our lives, and that all humans are basically good……

    Thanks for stopping!

    gh: When I think of Jesus in my mind, He is such a loving, open person, who wants his children to live happy lives, and do good by one another. We take care of each other and our world, we are kind to the earth and animals, and we have loving souls. And, the best part is, that we get to go through this life without being alone. Truly, as you also say often, love is really the main thing that we take forward, that will lead us more and more toward light, and goodness!!!!!

    Thanks so much for your friendship and warm thoughts, as always! Vanessa

  7. Apart from the Ten Commandments, isn’t all other “sins” but manmade?

    1. I am the Lord your God, you shall have no other gods before me.
    2. You shall not make yourself an idol.
    3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God.
    4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
    5. Honor your father and mother.
    6. You shall not murder.
    7. You shall not commit adultery.
    8. You shall not steal.
    9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
    10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

    I do not see or read anything here above that indicates being gay is a sin in the eyes of our Lord.

    I think the Lord loves us, regardless 🙂

  8. I think your views are SO refreshing!

    In my home state of MN, we just had a huge ELCA Lutheran convention, and I was so happy that this large group voted that one could be gay AND in a relationship, and still be a pastor. It’s a small step, but a step forward. I was fully prepared to leave this church had the vote gone the other way.

    I have no doubt in my mind that Jesus was/is much more compassionate than those who choose to condemn what they see as a “lifestyle.” I believe we were all made exactly how we were supposed to be. I believe you being gay was no accident. I believe no one is given something that they cannot handle, and a lesser person may not have been able to deal with the difficulties that you have been faced with.

    Great post, and I’m so glad you shared it. 😀

  9. Thank you, friend. And, I do mean, FRIEND….:)

    My sister in law, who has been raised in the Lutheran church her entire life, just sent me a message on FB last week to tell me about the vote, and, that in our little area of NE PA, her local charge/convention is also in favor of ability to pastor, and open inclusion in churches. For me, if a church, at the top levels or in small town USA, says officially that I am not welcome, because I am gay, then I am finished with said church. The UMC has done just that; sure, the vote was not overwhelming, but the vote throughout the US worked out to be against All Means All, which would mean allowing membership regardless of many hot button areas, including sexual orientation and gender identity.

    I am coming to understand that many people, especially many who have attended church without questioning for years, they just don’t get it. They don’t get that LGBT persons haven’t just felt unwelcomed in churches; we have been told outright that we are not welcome unless we give up our sinful ways. Talk about going against what Jesus would do? Certainly goes against what the idea of being a true Christian is, in my mind.

    Thank you so much for being. I really appreciate it; and, am so happy for you!!!!!

  10. Vanessa,
    I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately – and now that I’m back online(!), I can comment.
    I hear where you’re coming from. And would agree with much of what you say, esp. on issues of sexual orientation.
    And I don’t believe that I am to see myself as a “sinner”. But I do believe I sin. Not when I just happen to make bad choices, but when I choose to go against what I know is right. I have been that rebellious soul who doesn’t want to make the right choice, but makes the easy or selfish choice. I believe these choices to be sin. They hurt me and they hurt others.
    But I also believe in redemption. God loves me for who I am, as I am. And I know for a fact that God blesses me. Not coincidentally, I feel, I have seen that blessing flood in when I have asked for forgiveness. It’s like God saying: “Thank you for owning up, for turning back, for seeking wholeness, look what’s here for you!”
    Bishop Desmond Tutu speaks eloquently about nobody being beyond forgiveness and redemption, and in the context of the atrocities of aparteid, that is a belief beyond which some might deem reasonable.
    Teddy Kennedy lived a redeemed life. He knew he wasn’t perfect but that God loved and forgave him, and blessed him in his life’s work.
    For me, it’s not about being a sinner, or not being a sinner. It’s about relationship. It’s about love. And living my life as the beloved and the blessed. And making those loving choices.

  11. Nancy: I totally agree with you about acknowledging when we have done wrong, by ourselves or others, and being forgiven and receiving redemption for that. And, I firmly believe that God sees us as the pure beings that we are all capable of being, and loves us for that, and our transgressions. I think for me it is the way the word and the concept of sin have been used to demean, hurt and alienate persons from the manmade part of church.

    It is so interesting to me how everything in my life is one big circle; I have been here before in my faith journey, and probably will be again I am sure, when I am balancing/comparing/considering the differences for me between my relationship with God, and Jesus, and the way that man, mostly men, has tried to define it for me and others. My relationship with God and all living things is open, transparent, and secure, so I know I am beloved. And, when I fall short, I know God is there to guide me back to the path.

    So the manmade stuff isn’t always necessary, and sometimes, distracting and intrusive for me. Does that make sense???

    I am SOOO glad that you made it over to post your comments, thank you so much for visiting!!!!

  12. I have discovered your blog only recently.
    I just felt the strong need to tell you that I have a female partner myself. We’ve been together for almost fifteen years. Although I’ve never considered myself a sinner. On the reverse, I consider myself a gentle, loving and giving soul who deserves happiness.
    Very best wishes to both you and your partner.

  13. shiona: Have you visited here before? It seems like your user name is familiar to me…..

    Thank you for sharing and for visiting here. We are very happy and have a beautiful family, and I feel very confident in knowing that God created us just as we are, period. Congrats on your longevity with your love, and thank you for the good wishes.

    I am actually off to Washington in a few weeks to advocate for full, equal rights with thousands of others for us to be able to legally marry in the US; I hope we have some success!!!! Peace to you, Vanessa

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