The rings

So, the van that we rode in to Washington, DC for the National Equality March was seating for fifteen or so. Some people rode in cars so that we might have a bit more room. Since I was travelling alone, I went to the back of the van, to get situated and organized. I was soon joined by Dar and Kat, who were soon to be a couple of my new found friends.

back o' the van

At 6:00 AM, we began getting acquainted by the need I had to point out that, as opposed to Dar’s Jeter jersey, I am, in fact, a Boston Red Sox fan.

We sat next to each other anyway, amicably.

Over the next few hours, the three of us talked about our families, our struggles, we shared food (Kat makes a mean egg salad), and connected. We discovered some people, and ideas, that we had in common. It was really cool.

dar and kat

One thing that I noticed about the two of them as a couple, is that they genuinely cared for each other. I don’t mean, love each other; that was apparent also. But, the gently reached for each other’s hands at times, gave a quick kiss to one another. They talked and shared and genuinely cared for one another.

What I found out as we were preparing to leave Washington for the day, is that in the midst of the connection and marching and gathering, they had taken a moment to sit on the lawn of the Capitol, and to exchange rings with one another. There, in our nation’s capitol, they were witness to history being made, and making some special memories of their own as well. Until they could have it be legal, either in New Jersey, or in the country, or both, this would have to do.

the rings

What a beautiful testament to love. Even in the face of our unions not being legally recognized in most places, love reigns. Commitment rings true. We make what we can from what we are given.

And, true love wins out, every time.

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20 thoughts on “The rings

  1. oh vanessa!….how sweet!…thank you for putting our feelings into words…you rock!~
    and yes, the symbolism of our rings was that ONE DAY we will actually have a wedding- we will not settle for commitment, domestic partnership, or whatever label society wants to put on our togetherness…so…when the day finally comes, we will have a celebration; with REAL wedding bands, food, dancing and more dancing……..save the date…it’s coming soon!
    we love you~
    kat & dar

  2. I was honored to witness the moment and to capture it on film – except it’s not film any more!lol
    I have been enjoying your words, Vanessa. Keep it up!
    Patty

  3. Vanessa, I am just catching up on blog reading. I have been sooo busy this past week, I don’t quite know where the time has gone. This is a lovely post to read first. Last summer I saw a friend from high school and met her partner/wife (they live in CA). I too was struck by their caring about each other. As you say, of course there was love, but this was just sweet and it was a real treat to witness it. It’s late, but tomorrow I will read the rest of your posts I have missed.

  4. I’m going to an “outlaw wedding” in November, since equal marriage isn’t legalized in Texas. I love that they are having so much fun with it and I love that you’ve shared this touching story!

  5. Same sex marriage is not allowed in my country either, but me and my wife exchanged our rings long ago and have been living together for years. Unfortunately, I cannot officially introduce her as my wife, but we are together almost all the time and people just accept us without asking questions.
    Thank you for this post, Vanessa. All my very best wishes to you and your family.

    1. shiona: Yeah, we have exchanged rings also; but we also look forward to having the full rights of marriage here in the US. I call her my wife at times, but what I like better is “wife to be”; that is accurate!!! Thanks for visiting, shiona. Best to you and your love as well. Vanessa

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