Happiness is an inside job

Happiness is not an idea, or something that floats above our heads, kind of like a cartoon bubble, that we fill with whatever we want it to mean, or at least, think it should mean.

Happiness is not wealth, belongings, or the right job.

Happiness is not found in a product from a commercial, a vacation destination, or just the right gift.

Happiness, my friends, is an inside job.

I have searched my entire life thus far for happiness, for just the right everything. The right job. The perfect relationship. The best friends. The most comfortable lifestyle to maintain with my money. I never wanted extravagance, but I wanted to be HAPPY. HAPPY was what I aspired to all the time. I was on a journey that had no final destination. I was seeking it always outside of myself.

Now, in the meantime, I was also doing some soul searching. How can I feel better about myself? How can I be less self-depricating and more self-appeciating? How can I quiet my busy mind and just be still? How can I help others to love me more?

Still, that soul searching was meant to be the means to the end; the end being, the right job, friends, or relationship.

I have discovered so much about happiness. The first thing that occurs to me about happiness is that it is an inside job. And, not just any inside job. The kind that is work that we do to feel better about ourselves within the Universe, and not upgrading or facelifting our selves for the benefit of others. It isn’t about creating change within in order to secure that new job or gal. It is about creating change, deep, profound change within, purely for the reasons of being the best persons we can be for ourselves. Sure, after we begin and continue to do that self work, the better jobs and relationships will come, or the ones that we have will improve, no doubt about it. But those are the natural results of truly loving ourselves. That is true happiness, loving oneself and then taking that self on the road.

The next big part of happiness that I realize in considering it, is that the word “happiness” in no way covers what it means to me. Maybe the word “bliss” would cover it; “awesomeness” fits pretty well for me also. Happiness is a perfectly good word, but I feel like in my life that I use to strive for happiness; now, it is bigger and more pumped up than that; I want full-on bliss, or better yet, AWESOMENESS.

The thing that I think that I love most about the pursuit of happiness is that the work is never done; this is a lifelong endeavor. Exploring and finding our own awesomeness and then rocking it with the world is a life long adventure, and one that I am delighted to be on. The other great thing about happiness and the longevity of striving for it, is that it is made out of stretchable, breathable material; our search of the awesome is ever evolving, ever stretching and shaping our selves, and our very souls, for we are always growing, changing and evolving as beings. Oh, all of the adventures we can have together!!!!

For me, happiness, bliss, joy, or awesomeness- whatever I call it, there is no other way to be. And, it is ALWAYS up to me!

Happy, Healthy, and Awesome 2010 to all!!!

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15 thoughts on “Happiness is an inside job

  1. Happy Newyear, Vanessa! You look great in that pic : )

    So I read your piece and I wait. For the thing that made you change your thoughts on happiness. Or maybe for the click in me, the a-ha, the awakening. I guess that’s me, waiting. You started a thought that I do want to finish, that needs an ending, another happy ending. For me.

    I think of my utter exhaustion these past months and how I let it get that far. How I let my energy get so drained. Which pitfalls did I reenter and which energizers did I miss out on. How I spent two chrismas holiday weeks sleeping, wondering, dreaming. About what I missed. About friendships and years that feel lost to me, lonely, wasted.

    I wait. I think about a great book I read last week (in Dutch: “Het Verwende Nest” by Liza van Sambeek). On friendship of 7 women in their fifties. On judging but also on gathering. On mourning – death of a friend, lost loves. But also on celebrating. Rejoicing. Moving on. Such a great book. Such wonderful women. Such wonderful friends. How we have to make our own happiness. Make something out of it. Just do something.

    I guess what I came away with is the thought that I must keep it simple. Accept that my life is petty, may seem petty to me and how I was taught, but that the joys must lie within the details. Taking time out to savour them. Rejoice in what I have instead of belittling it. Accept who I am. Forget petty perfectionism. Stretch to sketch greatness in small, sloppy things instead. See the wonder of kind people all round me. And choose. To spend time. With people. Enjoying myself. Stop thinking I need to change. Start enjoying what is there.

    Today I cooked a stuffed chicken and made chicken soup. Enjoying the fragrance of fresh lemons, thymian and celery. The chicken turned out part dry part undercooked – next time, preheat the oven!! But the soup is lovely.

    The turkish greengrocer gave my son of 2 a tomato. My neighbour was happy we dropped by and we cuddled on the sofa.

    I am sending my friend the book as an early birthday present.

    Vanessa, far away friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping me, inspiring me to finish mine.

    Wishing you a blissful, awesome 2010!

  2. Tink:

    SIGH. I am SO glad to see you! Thanks for buzzing by to say hey. I got my click at the time and place when it found, but better yet, because I was ready to hear the click; I was listening! I think I had been listening in the past, and not ready, and then when I was ready, there were times I wasn’t listening. All of the stars had to align at the same time; then, it happened. Even though to let go, and realize what little I have power over was intimidating at first, it is so FREEING!!!! I have control over me, no one else, nothing else. Tragedy may darken my door tomorrow, or five minutes from now, and even if it emotionally devastates me, I will know where to find my foundation when I am ready. I stay in the simple pleasures and little details much of the time, for I don’t need to be a celebrity to rock the world and leave my mark on it; simply by doing good, being a loving person and striving for my best is a great gift for the world. Besides the fact, that I consider you a gift to me, that is why I keep come looking for you when too much time has passed.

    Happy New Year, Tink. I know 2010 is going to totally ROCK!!!! MWAH!

  3. Cynthia: Thank you for your visit here. yes, we need to work at it at times, but always the inside work makes it so worth it. I want to embrace and jump into my life with both feet, and I can do that so much more effectively when I am focusing on how I can make it happen, rather than how others can make it happen for me…… I hope that you will come by again!!! Vanessa

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