If you love something…..

How many of us remember that saying of “If you love something, set it free; if it comes back to you, it’s yours. If not, it never was.” Or, some variation of those words? Sounds a bit like the theme of my day today.

This morning, I awoke with the knowledge that I had to come to terms with my uneasiness with an aspect of friendship. I intellectually know that persons come and go from our lives. I know that we need to accept that we are all impermanent, and that things change. I know on some level that I have persons in my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I also know that those in my life for a lifetime are few. They are the closest, most intimate connections, which are rare.

So, I decided today would be the day that I would get to the bottom of this angst that I have been experiencing on and off for months now. Why do people that I am closely connected with leave my life? Why do they disappear after we have shared so many deep, private stories? And, more importantly, why do I have such difficulty in letting go?

I sorted through all of it. I have gone through periods of time feeling hurt and confused about it; then I had also reconsidered whether it was as close as I had thought; deep down, though, I knew that the only answer was release, release of that person, and release of the negative energies that I have been putting upon it. Letting go with love.

So, by mid day today, I could envision the letting go process, like the string of a balloon, releasing it into the atmosphere. Letting it float into another part of the Universe and be wherever, and whatever, it should be. Letting go. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH………………

But, something interesting happened after that. I went out to the store, just to get out of the cube for a few minutes. When I got back, I was sitting in my car and noticed that one of my earrings had fallen out. Now, I had been walking quite a bit in the last few minutes, so I knew it could have ended up ANYWHERE. However, at that moment, when I noticed it was missing, and after initially mourning the loss of a lovely gift from a dear friend, I let it go. I realized that I could obsess about it, perseverate about it, mourn, cry, kick and scream about it, but that would not make it magically appear. I could ask all of my coworkers if they had seen it, I could call my honey and cry about it, or I could just LET IT GO. So, I did. I admitted my powerlessness, I spent a moment appreciating its beauty in my memory, and then, I admitted to self that all is impermanent, and that I can live without it being in my life.

Then, when I got to the door of my office, I looked down, and there it was.

My guess is, if I hadn’t gone through a very deliberate process of letting go, I would have never seen it again, which would have been okay, because I had made peace with it. Peace with the decision of the Universe to show me this lesson.

For, all people, places and things are impermanent. We can hold them tightly, or appreciate them while they are here, but either way, we have no control over their longevity or their ability to stay with us, or leave. Those that choose to be in our lives, and those that we choose to have in our lives, including our selves, have to be, do, create, thrive, move, stay still, love, live and BE in all different ways at all different times.

For every moment that we share together, we are blessed.

Thank you, dear Universe. And, as Melody Beattie told me on this very day in her daily affirmation book:

“Although people may voluntarily nurture and love me, I and I alone am responsible for taking care of and loving myself.”


15 thoughts on “If you love something…..

  1. Hello there. Yes, indeed. The universe does know and we must be open to it..whether we like it or not, sometimes. Awesome post! Thanks for sharing You. I’ll be seeing you.

  2. Great exploration, Vanessa. I have had similar thoughts, as well. I have also had thoughts about what happens if you perhaps force a reunion, when maybe there was never meant to be one? This thought came to me when I thought alot about the phenomenom of Facebook reuniting old classmates, etc.
    Have a blessed ay,

  3. Excellent post, Vanessa. You say it so well. All things are impermanent. Most human suffering comes from a failure to accept what is. When we learn acceptance, things open up just like you finding that earring. What a great story and lesson. Thanks for sharing.

  4. universe knows: welcome!!!! Ah yes, the lessons come, like it or not. However, the learning is so FUN for me!!! I will see you again. Peace, Vanessa

    Shannon: Thanks sweetie! Yeah, the forcing of the reunion, although I have gone that way in the past with some friendships, and it has resulted in pleasant surprise from the other person; that isn’t possible in this circumstance. However, besides letting go, friendships are my other lesson that I am learning, and Facebook has impacted that for sure! Thanks for reading!!! Vanessa

    Kim: Thank you so much; and, did I mention that the lost earring was actually from a pair that you gave me for Christmas years ago; wolves and a quarter moon with turquoise; one of my favorite pairs, that I intentionally put on yesterday morning to wake up my Native power!!!! So glad you are in my life. V.

  5. I can only agree and say that your post speaks a lot to me right now and always of course. Letting go is the key. And the hurt we feel is based on fear of lack, which I know we are not in, we have plenty!

    I love the methaphore of the balloon…I see it clearly!

    I love what you do!

  6. “My guess is, if I hadn’t gone through a very deliberate process of letting go, I would have never seen it again, which would have been okay, because I had made peace with it.”

    I was JUST THINKING THIS! It must be a universal truism or something.

    When I was young, I learned that nothing is every actually “lost” – I just happen not to know it’s location. As a habitual loser of things, it used to drive me crazy when I couldn’t put my hands on something like my house key. (I learned how to break into my own house because I’d lost my key so many times.)

    Somewhere along the way I picked up this saying, “Nothing is lost in the kingdom of God, nothing is lost in his kingdom.” At first I furiously repeat that little mantra to myself but I finally learned the letting go which you are speaking.

    I very quickly stopped permanently losing all my stuff!

    Strange, but true. 🙂

  7. Beautiful post Vanessa. Sometimes letting go is the best feeling in the world. It’s a release of some sort. And I love that quote at the end of your post. I’m often having to remind myseld that love needs to come from myself and not others. It’s a great reminder.

  8. This is a lovely and very meaningful post. I go through similar things at frequent times.
    By the way, does anyone happen to know what became of Psychscribe? Her blog went dark back in September and though I have emailled her, I have heard nothing. I’d be grateful if anyone knows and could let me know either here or over at my blog http://zenandtheartoftightropewalking.wordpress.com, where you can find my email details if you want/need to do it privately. Go to Contact me for that.

  9. I love this. How true. I think of God in this way too-the power of the energy is amazing and to learn that everything on this Earth is impermanent is the key to happiness and inner peace. Thanks! Bless your beautiful writing! Tessa

  10. Helen: Letting go is my most powerful lesson yet; and the balloon image came to me so clearly and is so fitting!!! I am glad that it is helpful to you, as your words are so often for me. Hugs!

    Deeps: I will be over to visit honey!!!

    Hayden: “Nothing is lost”; how true is that! A friend of mine also wrote to me recently, to let me know that from her perspective, in part in relation to the lesson of letting go, that when others seem like they are not there for us, or we are disappointed in some way, it is clearly an indication of what we need to look at within; what about the persons’ doing, or not doing, that bothers us so much and that we need to address. Nothing is ever really, lost, so true it is; we just need to remember where we put it for the time being. Letting go is so freeing it is amazing!

    Leah: As I said in this post, the most challenging of lessons for me have been in the context of having to let go of something: a person, an idea, a dream, a job, etc. The funny thing about this Universe, though, is that in the letting go, we begin to manifest what it is that we most want; so true in what you are currently experiencing! Always, always, loving of our selves is our responsibility, and we so deserve that love!!!!

    Viv: hey there! Psychscribe is not blogging lately; I do have some contact with her on Facebook, however, and she seems to be doing okay. I hope that you are well!!!

    Tessa: Welcome to my blog! I am so glad that you came here to see me. When I remember clearly that all of this is impermanent, it helps me to want less and appreciate more, truly. I hope you will come by again…..

  11. Vanessa- you remind me of me- deeply relational and loyal (at least that’s how I perceive you)
    I also go through times when I wonder why certain people doesn’t seem to invest as much in a friendship w/ me as I would like. I’ve noticed it’s worse when I’m emotionally vulnerable… I understand AA used the acronym HALT- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired- to watch out for those times because I’m more apt to get tripped up by this sort of thing @ those times. When I’m loving life and full of energy I tend not to notice I’m being neglected by someone

  12. Yes, relational and loyal are accurate; that is why my totem is the wolf, I believe. I have never heard the HALT acronym, although am quite familiar with AA concepts. And, it makes total sense; when I am feeling most vulnerable is when those actions, or inactions as the case may be, go right to the heart of me.

    The other realization for me is that I think it becomes easier for some people to disregard one another in the cyber world vs. 3D; for me, I view both worlds much in the same way. Respect is respect, either through the web or in person. Just the way I am wired……..

    1. I’m the same way (in terms of seeing the cyber world and the 3-d world as same) that’s why I don’t attack someone verbally in the internet- even though I would never probably meet them in person- same way when someone as the rudeness to talk to someone else via the internet disrespectfullly. we will some day have to give account of our words and deeds- whether they are in person or via cyberspace.

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