Tell yourself the truth

“For once a person begins on this path of knowledge they will only look inward, learning how to fix themselves, instead of trying to fix other people.” Rav Brandwein

For as often as we are with ourselves, many of us are very afraid to FACE ourselves. Face our shortcomings, our needs, our truths, our gifts. It is called denial in some circles, the need to look away from what truth really lies within us. I have participated in this as much as any one of you.

Over the years, I have evolved. There are times that I look back, in my rear view mirror of my life, and wonder, “Is that really me back there? Did I really look like that, talk like that, THINK and FEEL like that?” It seems so far removed from where I find myself to be in this moment right now. Denial was my friend, my confidante, so many times. In regard to my relationships, my work, my inner being. I was always being a kind, loving soul. But inside, I was screaming to be acknowledged, to be treated fairly, I was angry so many times but denied it to myself so vehemently that I even believed the lie. The lie of being satisfied, of not having any heartache, that it was okay for others to trample on me.

I have turned my back on denial and those lies in my life today. I have realized that, although denial played a critical role in my life in the past, it serves no purpose for me now. Denial probably saved my life at those times. At least, my emotional life. It kept me safe. It kept me insulated from the truths that were so ugly that were around me. Thank God for denial, at least back then. In my rear view mirror.

Now, I embrace truth as much as I possibly can. I crave it. I recently have taken the opportunity to explore the idea of being a Life Coach, and will be taking a crash course over a weekend in New York, with a company that I have admired for several years now. One of the goals is to realize your full potential, and to hold yourself accountable for it. And, in 2010, in the here and now of my life, I am so ready for it. Ready for any truth that another person has in store for me, and any truth that I have for myself.

You see, I know what the root and foundation is for the life I am to lead. A life with purpose, a life based in values and integrity. I heart and soul full of love, compassion, and justice. For as long as those are my guiding principles, I know that any truth that I must face will be able to be handled, and that I can be as gentle, or firm with myself, as I need to in order to go forward and to achieve my goals.

I believe that until we face the truth of our souls, the REAL truth of how we think, feel, believe and act, then we cannot until that time show full truth to others. To look in the mirror and REALLY see yourself is frightening. Yet, it is only our selves, after all. And, when we look at that truth dead on, and embrace it with love and compassion, it becomes not frightening, but strangely comfortable and reassuring.

That, even in truth, we are pretty damned awesome. True that.


9 thoughts on “Tell yourself the truth

  1. The difficult fact to accept in life is the truth. Most of us are living in a lie. Despite reason and reality, we chose to go blind in seeing the real facts. It is only through awareness and wisdom can we learn to see the truth in each of us. 🙂

  2. Samantha: Welcome! Yes, there are those that will not like it much when we walk in truth; for we are a reminder to others of what they do not do for themselves. This should not hinder us, however. It is a process………

    Walter: You are so right! I know that most of the lies in my life over the years have protected me for a time, but then they become a type of security that I no longer need, but am afraid to let go of. The lies become our friends, become familiar in a way that we are reluctant to leave. I am so grateful for looking into the face of truth and being inspired by it; I still have much growing to do, but I am enjoying the journey tremendously!

  3. I feel so inspired and PROUD when I read your posts! Maybe because I see some of myself in you (isn’t that what we are all doing, reflecting in each other?) and I hope, I believe, that I am on a good path myself, just like you are (walking beside each other) You are humble and/but brave Vanessa and even though I don’t really “know” you I feel that I do.

    The first step toward change is truth and that involves FACING ourselves, just as you say, and seeing things CLEARLY, no judgement, just facts, reality. And acceptance. From there, the great journey begins.

    You are/will make a great coach! Can’t wait to hear more about it! 🙂


  4. helen: On more than one occasion, when reading your posts, or your comments on mine, I envision us walking the path side by side. And you are right; we are meant to do that in this world. That is one of the things that has been so powerful for me through blogging, is how much I can connect with others, and how much my words are welcome wisdom to them; helps us all to feel that we are not so alone in how we think, feel and believe. It is a pleasure, and I will DEFINITELY keep you posted on the coaching; it is one of my dreams in the making!!!!!

  5. The life coaching sounds wonderful. Are you a counselor now? Do you want to be? I am going for that path one day I think. We’ll see. How exciting! Good for you. I totally know what you mean about facing yourself, all the good and bad, and accepting it. I have been soul searching the last few years and found out so much about me that I denied, and it is really freeing. Great writings again.

  6. Tessa: Thanks again for being here and leaving such nice comments. I am hardly ever afraid of looking within, and with this process of life coaching, I have to live it ALL THE TIME. It exhausts me, but is so worthwhile!!!!

  7. Hey Vanessa,

    Let me start by saying that, based on what I know of you, you are already a life coach, at least to yourself, until helping others become a reality. Then again, I firmly believe that your writing has already helped anyone who is lucky enough to find your words. I am speaking from my personal experience.

    Being able to look within and face what is revealed (the truth) takes courage and more importantly it is something that no course can ever teach you.

    I was going to wish you the best of luck in your new venture, but know that this is not needed because you are already there. You kindness, generosity, wisdom and genuine nature will have people queueing. I know I would…


  8. J:

    WOW. Your words truly warm my heart; thank you so much for stating how my words have helped you. That is my greatest hope and wish for others, and when they reflect it back to me, it is POWERFUL. I think I am destined to be a life coach and am so excited about it!!!! It is the next transition in terms of my career that makes total sense to me…….

    THank you so much for your beautiful words, that I know are genuine. It really means so much, and hugging you back!!!! V.

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