My reflection

Okay, I am leaning over, looking into the pond of my life. I am seeking what it is I truly see in that reflection, in that face that is looking back at me.

I see beauty, at least some of the time.

I see honesty.

I see love, pure love.

I see child like soul.

I see an insecure being.

I see a person who is afraid at times.

I see a person who wonders if she will be truly cared for.

I see a fat person inside a slimmer body.

I see a forty seven year old woman who doesn’t look forty seven.

I see life.

I see hope.

I see a past, present, and future.

What about my core values of love, of truth?

I see both. I see love as pure as anything else, flying right out from my soul, and shining like moonbeams from my eyes. I see it as clear as if it was an actual image before me.

I see love in my smile, that has lines and sincerity and purity in it. It is lines that are there for love given and not received, received and not understood, and reciprocated.

I see truth; truth of what is to come, truth of what I only know, truth of my soul and all of its desires.

Love.

Truth.

Life.

Being, and being here, right now.

I am looking deeper into myself than I have ever have before.

My dear readers, I am so grateful for all of you that come, read, some comment, some do it anonymously.

However, I must confess something.

Although I have written here on this blog about my beliefs regarding life, love, beauty, lessons, and experience, about living in the moment, I am but a human, and these are lessons that I am still having to learn.

Inside this secure exterior, is at times, a very insecure, child like person.

A person with a need to be loved, and not forgotten.

I am no guru, or expert. Heck, I am not even a life coach yet.

However, I WILL be. Bank on it.

I just want to tell you all that I am unique, and I do see my own beauty, love and truth at times.

And, I am also insecure, scared, and uncertain at times.

I have often defined myself by how I see myself reflected through others, through the waters within their souls, and how they show it back to me. That is in part, my truth, but it is also, a mirage.

And, I am still finding out who I truly am. Maybe, for the first REAL time in my life.

So far, so good.

Thank you, from my soul depth. For all of it.

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7 thoughts on “My reflection

  1. “. . .I see honesty . . . I see love, pure love . . . I see child like soul . . .”

    Thought you were looking within me as I read . . .

    Amazing how one post can lead to another as rich and compassionate as the other. Kinda wish all posts could provide the same openings.

    michael j
    snowed in at Conshohocken, PA USA

  2. Michael J:

    Welcome to my blog; I appreciate your visit and your comments. I try to just write from where I am, which is almost always from a very deep place. It is cleansing to me……

    Funny story about Conshohocken: When I was in college, my best friend was from Norristown, and told me about Conshohocken, as a town, and I thought she was lying about the name, it was so unusual. I live about two hours north of you, in the Pocono Mtns.

    Peace! Vanessa

  3. It takes a lot of guts to look in the mirror. Because the mirror never lies, because we ALWAYS know!! The struggle is to accept and embrace our limitations – aswell as our unlimited potentials!!! No matter how hard it may be I think the only truth is to understand that we ALL THINGS at once!!

    Even when we are low, there is always someone who thinks we are great and sees our true reflection. Hopefully, that same person is our self and we can put our trust in the fact that we wake up every morning to a world of endless possibilites!

    Hope you had a beautiful Valentine’s!

  4. amandzing: You can do it. It is just you, after all. 🙂

    inwardsun: Thank you; it does take amazing courage. Something that is helping me throughout the process, is giving myself the permission to just tell the truth; to others, to myself. Truth is always okay, even if we have learned to think it is NOT okay. Our truth is our truth. It isn’t meant to hurt us, hurt others, damage our relationships. It is just the aspect of being real, being who we really are, feel, and do.

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