The cave

I had a thought this morning. Although I don’t rock climb, or mountain climb, I might want to someday. I don’t see myself as enjoying those dangling, rope-using kinds of climbs, but getting to the top of a mountain, which I have done a few times in the past, that I could enjoy again.

Well, my thoughts took me to those that do climb those cliff faces; those rock shears that have very little room for error. And, then I was thinking about those climbers, and their need to find shelter during those times, and what better place for shelter than a cave.

Then, I thought of me, my life, my journey, my process.

I thought about the fact that every day of my adventuresome life, I am climbing a big mountain. I am blazing a trail, and using my ropes to repel to the next peak. I am wearing the most flexible, durable climbing shoes that I can. I have my equipment strapped to my back. I feel fearful, and fearless, at the same time. I feel ready, and uncertain, at the same time.

Then, I realize that I need to rest. I need to stay where I am for a time. Maybe a storm is brewing. Maybe I just need to feed and water myself.

Maybe, I just want to stop and look at the scenery.

So, I find a cave.

The way that I see it, I need two things of this cave. First, I need to make peace with this space. It is dark, damp, and unknown. It is a bit scary, and uncertain as to what is contained in it. However, I need to be here, for a time, and so, I trust that I will be well within it. So, I make peace with it.

The other thing that I need to do, is that I need to use this cave for whatever purpose it is serving for me. Maybe I needed a bit of shelter from the storm. Maybe, I just needed to rest my fatigued arms and legs. Maybe, I need to feed myself, and close my eyes for some sleep.

Whatever I need from this cave, I know, I trust, that all will be well, and that I will find what I need in this space.

The next day, after being refreshed and taken care of, I continue on, ever closer to the summit, so that I can repel down the other side, and go to the next mountain on my path.

There are days, not all that many, but some, when I am in need of a place, a place to gather my energy, to reflect, to feed my mind, my body, and my soul.

Even when I feel so full of energy that I could almost go on without rest forever, I know that I need to always to do this. I will always need to care for myself in the midst of greatness. I will always need to rest even when I feel like my energy level is high.

In this process of life exploration, in this adventure that I am currently on and living, I know that my climb up and toward my dreams is never ending. I am enjoying it so much. However, I have had to find those caves on my way, and after making peace with the space, the WHY I am there, I have used the space. The space to learn more about the whys and hows of me; the origins of my thoughts, behaviors and feelings; how so much of what I have learned is still part of my identity, until I actively understand it and let it go.

Me, who has always been afraid of dark caves, now understands that in order to adventure on, I always need to rest and refresh.

I never know just what I might find in that space.


2 thoughts on “The cave

  1. Ah Vanessa, here I am returning to the world and I find you have again described the very places I have spent the last few months. Caves that shelter. Not the hiding kind, just the kind that allow quiet, peace and a place to re-group. This post is so eloquent and wonder-ful. Thank you, as ever, my friend for your amazing insight.

  2. Tiny: I am so glad that you have been a cave dweller, as of late. After our “chat” today, I realize that my cave had cave drawings in it; up until this point, I wasn’t sure what they represented. On this recent visit to this cave however, one in which I have been before, I understand them. And, now I know how to keep going forward with those lessons firmly learned.

    Thanks for visiting today; and I did, indeed, miss you. 😀

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