It has been too long since I have been here. I have missed the keyboard, and the freedom of my mind opening up as I let the words flow. I am doing so much work these days, on exploring, unravelling, and planning with the work of Handel Group, my coach, and my Coach in Training program. The learning that is happening each day is incredible!!!
The learning that is most signficant for me, and that I put to immediate use, is what I am learning about my self. All of these things that I used to know, are getting turned on their heads. I mean, I have believed for a long time in how we choose the circumstances of our own lives; however, this work through Handel steps it up a dozen notches, or more! Changing the lens that I view life through, or just moving my perspective ever so slightly, has opened up me, and my world.
I have always known myself to be a compassionate person. I am willing to be there for others, give of myself, offer my time, my shoulder, even my finances at times. People I meet at work, through blogging, even the occasional stranger.
What I am now realizing about myself, more than ever, is how I would often not show compassion to those closest to me. OUCH. Gross. Certainly not how I have viewed myself over the years.
I mean, I have been there many times for those that I love. However, in a close second to my compassion for my loved ones, was my judgmental, expert know it all self. The person that even though I possessed compassion for others, was also thinking “I wouldn’t have done that; why don’t they do it this way? Why did they make that choice that was obviously wrong? Why don’t they just do it like I say?”
So, time for that snotty know it all self to be put on a super-tight leash. Time for me to realize, accept, and understand, that compassion does not have room for judgment in it. And, that those closest to me deserve my compassion more than anyone else in my life.
It has been eye opening to realize that I have had more compassion for strangers than my own loved ones all of these years, yet freeing at the same time. Imagine how that opens me up, gives me the opportunity to author my life in a whole new way; recreate those relationships from a perspective that is accepting, not judging. That trusts that others know what they are doing. To not be the expert all the time. It also means I get to have compassion with myself, as I learn and realize so many powerful aspects of self, and instead of being dramatic and self-depricating about it all, changing it NOW.
I am compassionate, loving, and free. And, there is so much more to come……