Letting go of the how

As I go further and further along in this work toward a brilliant life, I find that my dreams come to me more easily than ever before. I am able to see the vision of my dreams in action, and for some of them, manifest what it would feel like to have those dreams fulfilled. There are few things as exciting as feeling what it will be like when my dreams are fulfilled.

However, there is a caveat at times, especially when dreaming my relationship dreams. The how: how will we get to this dream state? My fixer/reality checker has to raise its head, and point out, not so diplomatically, that the work of getting to the dream is going to be hard; so, if I am going to be bold enough to dream the dream, what is my plan to get that dream realized? My fixer wants the details of the how, in order to evaluate how feasible my dream is.

This has been at work much of my adult life, and hence, why it has been so difficult for me to design my dream life. I have focused so much on the HOW of things, how we will get from Point A to Point B, that I forget about my excitement for the dream itself. Nothing like keeping a good Fixer character trait around, a Control Freak, to keep me from holding onto the joy for long.

I believe that when I have focused so much on the How of a dream, or a new endeavor, it has been my way of finding out how the dream just isn’t possible. I mean, when I dream now, I am dreaming BIG; a stretch, but within reach. However, if I now focused only on the practical ways that I will make that dream real, I will talk myself out of it at every turn.

I don’t have the energy for that anymore. I am too busy designing beauty and greatness in my life; that means, that I have to use all of my energy within to focus on the dream realized; the goal achieved; all the while assuming that it will happen. It no longer is about the “what ifs” in the dreams, but the “when”. It is no longer a focus on the How I am going to get there, but How SOON. There are few doubts in my mind these days that the dreams are all within my reach.

I guess what it all comes down to, is a true belief that I can and should have all of my dreams, and that, more than ever, I deserve that beauty in my life. What a great feeling!!!!


5 thoughts on “Letting go of the how

  1. I am too familiar with the process of questioning the feasibility of my intentions (I dare not even call the dreams) and as soon as the many how? Come up and the gaps along the way of achievement, I simply dismiss them. Maybe this is how I learned not to dream and to “stick to reality”.
    I suppose it will be very hard to unlearn this practice, but your words are a great encouragement and boost of my belief that it is possible to change, to embrace my dreams and work towards fulfilling them. Thank you, Vanessa!

  2. Shiona, we have learned in the same school of life; how to forget about our dreams to get down to the “reality” of it all. What I have found out, thank goodness, is our dreams are what make for an even more beautiful reality. And I intend on making EVERY single one of my dreams come true. You can, too!!! V.

  3. Hey Vanessa, my name is Tamer and I just wanted to thank you for writing a really great post.

    Firstly, I’d like to say welcome to the club–you should always pursue your dreams, no matter what challenges stand in your way. If you are committed, failure is a transient, not permanent, setback.

    Reading your post made me think about the purpose of life, something that I’ve thought about often of late. What is humanity? What is the purpose of living, and what does it mean to be alive? These questions should be considered in a timeless sense, and as such should not be answered according to the strict formative forces and pressures that define our daily activities in a post-industrialization, capitalist profit-driven society.

    My answers to those questions is that we were meant to dream and to pursue those dreams, and that the liberating sensation that you describe is what it means to be alive. We are intelligent, free-willed human beings. Too many people forget that as they acculturate to a society where the economic questions are emphasized to a degree that we forget what it means to be human. We weren’t meant to judge the value of every question by how it equates with the constraints our jobs and finances impose on us. That is an employee-slave mentality; it only keeps people locked and trapped in a self-perpetuating dullness, and it keeps us from achieving extraordinary things.

    Sorry for the long reply, and I just realized that this was written several months ago, but I’m glad I read this and I hope more people benefit from the same epiphany that has made your life brighter!


  4. Ah, the purpose of life; I feel like I consider it all the time lately! Only recently have I begun to really explore my spiritual self again, and that takes me to the consideration of the meaning of life, and truly why I am here. It is deep but meaningful work for me. I feel so much more in line with living my true purpose as I go forward toward my dreams, and really work toward being the best person that I can be. Keep reading, and keep telling me your thoughts!!! Peace, Vanessa

  5. hi – is it just me !! can any one explain why when i type in the yahoo browser “vanessaleighsblog.wordpress.com” i get a different site yet whe i type it in google its ok? could this be a bug in my system or is any one else having same probs ?

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