Opening up my heart

The strangest, most marvelous thing is happening to me these days. I find that my heart is opening up more and more, every single day.

I didn’t expect this result when I began the coaching program, first by being a coaching client, and now, being a client and a Coach in Training, through the Handel Group. I expected that I would make shifts and changes in my thinking, sure. I expected that I would begin and continue work so that I could be a life coach myself one day. However, the heart stuff, WOW! I didn’t see that coming.

I have always believed that I had an open heart, as open as it could possibly be. I mean, I have always been capable of love, lots of love, for those that are in my life and around me. I always have felt the desire and the ability to have compassion for my fellow human beings. I have always felt a sensitivity about those in pain or those experiencing joy. However, it is now much different than that.

What makes it different? First of all, I am able to admit that, in addition to being loving toward others with this heart, I have also turned this same heart ice cold toward my loved ones; when they didn’t do what I advised; hurt my feelings; accused me of something that I thought unjust. This same heart could deny how it really felt, about a situation, an issue, or a person, including myself. This very same heart has held judgments toward others without truly knowing what it is like to walk in their shoes.

This “open” heart that I believed I have been walking around with, was not even close to being open, as I have been finding out more and more in these past few months.

For one, I cannot have a truly open heart if I am lying, denying, or deceiving myself or others of how I truly feel about something. I need to be open, truthful, and confess where I need to in order for my heart to be more open.

Secondly, I need to trust much more than I ever have, both others and myself. I need to truly trust that others can solve their own problems; that I can have a brilliant life; that the world won’t stop turning if I am not in control.

And, I need to truly love others, have compassion for them, and not make that a sound byte. I need to truly believe in the nature of human beings and their goodness. I need to mean what I say, say what I mean, and be truly present and available to those around me.

What is truly inspiring about my heart, is that as it opens more and more with each test of truth, honesty and love, I actually FEEL it opening, like I need to open my arms up wide to let it breathe.



2 thoughts on “Opening up my heart

  1. Vanessa, I’m so glad to be back, reading your blog again. I’m gonna go back to where I left off (your friend’s father’s death) and read forward. Just wanted to let you know I have surfaced again!

    ps I love the new look. Very beautiful.

  2. Hey Tiny!!

    I have been out of the loop totally, with writing AND with reading. HOwever, I am fully committed to writing/blogging daily, as this is my dream, so I need to make it happen!!!! I am glad to see you; happy reading!!! Love, V.

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