Being done.

The work that I do with the Handel Group, my internal work as a coaching client, and my training as a future coach, has promises at the root of the work that I am doing. I am responsible to make promises, and keep them, in regard to those life areas that are not yet in the dream state that I want them in. The purpose is, to make promises to myself about these areas, so that I can get closer and closer to my dream.

As a rule, I am a promise keeper. I often strive for perfection, and in the area of promises that is not much different. I also like to look good on the outside, the glossy finish, so I will, at times, be dishonest, or lie, about the extent to which I have kept a promise. I am learning more and more each day that each time I lie, I lose my credibility with others, and myself. Not a good feeling.

However, there are other areas in which I truly feel like I am “done”, or ready to not have to keep a promise on my list for it, because the promise has become an integral part of who I am, so I no longer feel like a written commitment is necessary for me to keep it. It has become internalized, it has become a changed structure in my brain, in my heart, so I think and feel about it so differently that I know I want to do it because it feels so good. There are two areas that I am fairly sure I am done with.

The one area is in the area of my body and regular workouts. Before I started with the Handel Group, I had lost about 80 pounds over the last ten or so years since my daughter was born. I was walking a few times a week and keeping my food monitored somewhat, but not really strict. I had a five pound weight range and tracked my food daily. However, I wasn’t honest many times about how much and what I was eating, and I definitely was not exercising enough for what I needed. So, I upped the game; I put a promise in place to work out, walking or some other exercise, six days a week. I stuck to it, kept that promise every week except for two in the last four months, and my weight started dropping FAST. Since I began with Handel Group in February, I have lost an additional 14 pounds. Why? Because, I keep my promises about working out, about eating what I say I am eating, and less of it mind you, and no more lying. I am so done with this; I feel so good about my workouts, my weight, and my eating habits, that this is one area that I am truly “done”, not to avoid monitoring altogether; however, the good feeling has replaced the need to keep a promise. I WANT it now, fully. So, I will do all it takes to keep it going.

The other area of “done” for me, without a doubt, is booze. I tell you, it has been rare in the last six weeks or so since I got sober, that I had a desire to drink anything. I sleep better, I feel better, I have more energy, I don’t have anymore hangovers or dry mouth or less money than I had because of spending it at Wine and Spirits. Although I am keeping this on my promise list for now, since the history seems eternally long that I lied and deceived myself and others about this, I am over it. I see the dream of honesty, integrity, and a pure, healthy body and that is my incentive, without a doubt.

I know that as I continue this work, I will “be done” with so many other areas that are my dreams getting closer. I never knew that being “done” could feel so good.

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