It is hard to believe that I could continue to gain gratitude in areas of my life. I have always considered myself to be a pretty grateful person, thankful for what and who, I have in my life. However, gratitude has taken on a different feel in the last few months, amidst many life changes.
What I find more and more in my life, is the gratitude that I seem to have for events and circumstances that are more challenging and sad. Grateful for the lessons that come from these events. For me, that is a major shift and change. I never lacked any level of appreciation in the past for great things happening in my life, or a change in my money status or relationship status.
Now, I find myself being grateful for living on a very tight budget; grateful for finding jeans that fit me, at the Salvation Army consignment store. Grateful for the pain and sadness I feel over the breakup of our relationship. Grateful that I am having some difficult conversations with people in my life.
Gratitude is an interesting thing, in that I believe that many humans only want to express it when life is truly going our way. Because, it must be that the tough stuff is random, and not meant for us to really gain any lessons from, right? That is what I always believed anyway; that there was a randomness to my life, when difficult circumstances occurred, because I am just such a good person, bad stuff shouldn’t come my way.
However, I understand it differently now. First off, I design and author my life, in its entirety, so if there is challenging stuff occurring, most likely I have had a hand in it in some strong way. Therefore, any gratitude I express for it, is learning the lesson, FINALLY, or for designing it in the way that I did, so that it brought me to where I am today.
The other part that I understand so deeply now, is that my most profound lessons seem to come from the most challenging changes in my life. And, for that, I can have only the deepest gratitude. You see, I want to live the biggest, most brilliant life that I can. And, I am so grateful that I am giving myself that opportunity to see it as such.
Gratitude is a gift that you give to yourself. Indeed.