Working from the inside out

I have lost and gained hundreds of pounds in my lifetime, actually, since the time I was a young teenager. I finally, after 35 years of life, have figured out the secret to taking off the weight, and keeping it off.

Working from the inside out, not the outside in.

Maybe that seems obvious to some, however, I have always believed that if I would lose the weight, and feel good about what I would see in the mirror and how my clothes would feel on me, then I would logically feel better on the inside.

However, an interesting thing occurred with me, over the courses of many diet and exercise plans in which I lost a great amount of weight. And, I still looked in the mirror and saw a fat person. I still felt constricted in my clothes even when they fit me correctly. I still was certain that I would gain the weight back, and not be successful. And, lo and behold, I would gain it back, and then some.

So, this most recent work I have done to lose the weight, and keep it off, I knew that I needed a different strategy. I knew I needed a new game in order to truly take down this bullshit of the lose weight/gain weight cycle, and this self loathing that just didn’t want me to succeed at it for good. I knew that over the years, even when I had lost weight, I would cheat, or sneak, or eat foods that weren’t part of the plan, and lie to myself about it. I knew I couldn’t be sneaky, I had to exercise, and I had to eat healthier. That I didn’t have to be afraid to be hungry sometimes. No more late night snacking.

I knew I had to improve my game, if what I really wanted was to feel better, and embrace my body fully. And, that the changes didn’t just have to be to my behavior, but what I thought about it all. About truly being healthy, happy with what I would see, looking at myself with loving eyes. Doing that work, from the inside, exploring my traits that get me in my own way, looking at the patterns of behavior about food that have been passed down to me, really taking that bullshit down, was what enabled me today, to have the dream body I have wanted, to be in the shape of my life.

To love what I see in the mirror. To truly see the beauty that is on the outside, because it is shining from the inside.


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