photo courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
As I continue to explore who I am, what I want and what I plan to achieve, I realize that there are so many people and situations that I have not been open, honest and truthful about, or with. So, I am working hard to go about the business of cleaning some of that stuff up. As I delve more deeply into my coaching work through the Handel Group, and as I plan to be the best Life Coach for others that I can possibly be, I am getting honest about some difficult stuff. The only way to my heart, however, is a straight shot, and I can only get in that heart, and staying living in it, if I am honest and transparent about who I am. And, as importantly, who I have said that I am in the past to others.
I wrote a letter this week to a person who was in my life for a couple of years, and we were friends. I am not sure where we are at with each other now, but I knew that there were some very specific things that I deceived her about in regard to me, my feelings and my actions. So, I wanted to clean that up with her, in the hopes that if we do continue to be friends, we can do so more authentically and more open. So, after being unsuccessful in getting us together in person, I wrote her a letter and mailed it.
What is so interesting to me, is that in the past, I have tended to obsess about things. If a situation does not get resolved in an expedient way, if I don’t get an answer right then and there, I would feel a sense of panic. Like there was an issue dangling in my life left unattended. With this letter, I felt such peace in the creating of it, the re-reading and signing it, and the mailing of it. As I dropped it at the post office, I felt a calm and a letting go that brought me a deep sense of satisfaction. Not dread or panic. Peace. Resolution. Calm.
This is new territory for me. However, I know definitely that once I sent off that letter, with all that was included in it, the what happens next was, and is, out of my hands. I know that I did everything in my power to be loving, honest and transparent, and the rest is left to be seen.
In the letting go, of the process, the words and the truth, I feel a real peace. A peace that to me, only comes from living fully from one’s heart, being truly loving toward yourself and compassionate toward others. It is not the matter of how this will fall for the other person, because if the truth is spoken with grace, wisdom, love, and compassion, the message will only be as it is intended.
I am going forth in my life with such power and grace, and I know that no matter what comes in the next moment, I am on my way to bliss.