The interesting thing about change, is that even when it is hard, it is necessary. Even when it is necessary, it is hard. In my life currently, both go with one another. There are changes in store that need to happen, that have to be based on the way that life has been, however, they are changes that are some of the most difficult of my life so far. Changes that go deeper than I have gone in the past, and have me relying on my faith more often, faith and trust that all will be well.
For me, what makes these current changes so hard are that people get hurt by them. Even me. Sure, I am looking forward to a new beginning. I am looking forward to less conflict, better communication and more understanding. However, there is no avoiding the fact that these changes have hurt people, angered people. And, as I realize that more as time goes by, I am learning how to allow those feelings in others to be, and to understand that change happens even when that is present.
There are those that I know in my life, and even times in my life when I believed it myself, that if something is hard, or is going to create conflict or hurt toward others, we just shouldn’t do it. Even if it is the truthful, right thing to do. No matter what, do no harm. However, what I have learned is that I actually do harm to others if I am not living authentically, if I am acting as if all is well when it is not. That does harm, because it leads people to believe that I am someone that I am not. I am trying to clean that up now, and cleaning stuff up is not always clean cut, and surely not easy. I almost equate change these days to growing pains, pushing out of where we are right now and moving toward the next phase of our lives, and that growth can be painful.
This is a hard road at times, one that I have actively designed and chosen this way, ALL of it. Great lessons have come, and I have so much gratitude for what I have learned and for the persons in my life. For those who feel hurt, betrayed, or wronged by me, I hope that there will be a time that they find forgiveness, compassion and understanding. I hope that there will be understanding that truth is the only way to go forward in life, and the main lesson that I want to instill into our daughter.
Change is hard, yet necessary and right, especially when it means living a life of truth.