Today, I am tired. Not a time-change-and-have-to-adjust-to-it tired, not a life-is-wearing-me-out-tired. Not a “I can’t take it anymore” tired. Just, tired. Tired from all of the living that I am currently doing.
I am working really hard at my life right now, and I have to say, I am enjoying the toil. I am enjoying the physical exercise and diligence about what foods I eat. I am enjoying the arrangements for my new place to live and securing the details. I am enjoying the time that I am spending with our daughter. I am even enjoying the conversations, conflicts and resolutions that I are ongoing with my ex and myself. Those conversations are deep, difficult and necessary. And, I am learning about her, and myself as we keep going through them.
Keep moving forward, as my friend, Susan, told me last week. Keep moving forward.
So, that is what I am doing. I am planning, grieving, celebrating, dancing, resting, eating, and embracing. I am excited, nervous, scared, sad, and relieved. I know that my life is taking some terrific turns, and in this moment, I truly believe that I deserve them all. I know that I am living true to myself, and being truthful to others more than ever before in my whole life. That really feels amazing, to feel confident in what I am doing and who I am, even when confronted with what others think of me that is totally contrary to that.
I am confident and secure in who I am and where I am going. And, because I have planned, lived, and dreamed fully and passionately today, I am tired.