My mom is in Oklahoma right now, visiting with her only sibling, and her closest living relative, her younger brother. Although his contact with her over the years has been sporadic, he absolutely adores her. So, this morning on Facebook, I could feel him beaming through the computer as he told me how glad he is that she is with him. And, my eyes filled with tears.
I felt the love that he feels for her, and it made me deeply miss my mom. That deep feeling does not hit me all that often. Sure, I wish she lived closer, and crave time with her at times. But, today was a deep longing and missing of her. The only time that I come to close to feeling that way, is when I am really sick, and I miss and want my mommy. I feel little and vulnerable and want her to take care of me.
Today is much different. I miss my mom, my mom that I am building the adult relationship with in the here and now. The mom who is going to buy the linens for my daughter and I for our new place, as her gift to us. The mom that wants to hear about my life, although I assumed for many years that she wasn’t interested. The mom who is so strong, and kind and full of knowledge, that is who I miss.
I have realized so much in the last year how much I truly admire her. She has worked most of her life, she has struggled with physical pain and illness, she has moved and supported her husband in so many ways, and she has raised five children. She had to bury one, and watch her other children go through hardships that she could do nothing to change. She is strong.
So, that is who I miss today, my dear mother who is a cherished parent and friend to me. And, who I know and am proud to say, I am like in so many wonderful, beautiful ways.
I love you, mom.