In looking at the title of this post, maybe it states the obvious. However, maybe not. As I move forward in my coaching training, and learn more about myself and others, I realize that there are many of us that do not get this logic.
The truth is, many of us believe that our lives will change for the better if the other people and circumstances in our lives change. We may really believe that we don’t need to do anything in order for our lives to become more fulfilling. And it is that way of thinking that I am addressing here.
If we are not willing to change, then our lives will not change. No matter what others do or don’t do, we won’t have anything different if we don’t do anything different.
I am learning about this more as time goes by, that I need to do the changing in order for my life to change for the better. In order to grow, I need to be the one growing, and wanting to grow. I could swirl in the expectation that others will do the changing, and growing, and believe that as a result, I will grow and change by osmosis. However, it doesn’t work that way, and as a coach, I have to fully realize and put this into practice in my own life if I am going to be great at coaching. Being a great coach is one of my dreams.
I understand more than ever that when I resist change, or want others in my life to change instead of me, my life doesn’t change or improve. And, it is a pretty self absorbed way to be, to expect that everyone around me will change, and I can just keep doing what I have always done. The kicker is, in some ways, what I have always done doesn’t work anymore, so if my life is unfulfilling in some ways, it is my job to change that.
I could complain, and feel badly, or get discouraged or even angry that my life isn’t going in the direction I want. But the real truth is that if my life is not focused on my dreams, that is my doing, my design, or my lack of a good design. So, I know that, and am willing and ready to make the changes that I need to, in order to have deeper, more meaningful relationships with others; to be living the dream life that I desire; and to feel balanced, happy and well.
It is all in my hands.