I have, for most of my life, refused to ask questions of others about much of anything. Whether it was asking someone for directions before or during travel; how to do an aspect of a new job; or the best product to buy, I almost always tried to figure it out on my own.
Now, this hasn’t been because I didn’t want to bother other people, which I told myself for awhile. It wasn’t even because I didn’t want to look stupid or foolish, it was even a bigger reason than this. It was because I wanted to be the one who was right, who knew best.
It was all about arrogance.
Arrogance has been one of the most difficult traits for me to take down, and I am learning that more and more as I continue my training as a Coach in Training through The Handel Group. I have masked this trait by hiding behind being scared, or not wanting to bother others, but it really is about being right, knowing the answers, not wanting to be accountable to anyone else. Dark, hmmm?
The great part is, I can love that dark stuff now, and when I am willing to love that part of myself, I can admit it and come clean about it more often, because it is human, it is normal, and it frees me from living a lie.
So, I put this in place in my daily life, by keeping track of any arrogant thoughts or actions that I catch in myself, and, in asking as many questions of others as possible. It still hangs around, believe me. There are still times when I assume that I know what is happening, when there is no way that I should know about it. So, I clean it up with the other person, and learn the lesson even more deeply.
The more aware I am of my own thoughts and behaviors, means the more present that I am to my life. It also means that I can take accountability for my actions, rather than putting it on someone else, and really open up my relationships with others in the process.
Life is great, and I am learning to love not knowing so much!