Asking for what I want.

I have not always been clear in asking for what I want. No wait; let me be straighter about that.

I have not asked for what I want in life, and then, blamed or resented others when I didn’t get it.

Messed up, right?

Yes, I have discovered how human I actually am, and the truth is, I haven’t viewed myself as human, nor as finding it necessary to tell others what I want, or ask them for it, rather than expect them to read my mind.

It is funny how I played at this too. I would set them up basically, to not know what I wanted, and then I could feel so disappointed that they didn’t know, based on how well they knew me. Based on how much they said they loved me. It was a no win situation for them, and for me, every time.

I remember distinctly that my former partner would always ask me for a birthday or Christmas list of things that I wanted. I would pretend that I didn’t give it to her, because I didn’t want to ask for my own presents. While that was part of it, the bigger truth about it was that I wanted her to instinctively know what would make me the most happy; to have paid close enough attention to my needs to be able to choose the perfect gift.

Bitchy, right?

So, now where I need to be, and to stand in my life, is to directly and lovingly ask clearly for what I want. That is important for me to keep in mind as I go forward into my coaching career; as I get ready to write and publish books, as I continue to coparent our daughter, and as I enter the dating world in the (near) future.

I cannot stand powerfully in my own life, and play dumb or helpless at the same time.

I am powerful. I am magical. I am free and loving and ready for my life.

And I am ready to ask for it.


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