Monthly Archives: May 2012

The Road Show.

I have had the most amazing time for the last two days. I have been on what I will call the Vanessa Road Show. This is sort of how it has gone so far:

On Thursday morning, as in, YESTERDAY, I left my home in Pennsylvania at 5:00 AM, and drove to Westmoreland, New Hampshire, where I have not visited for several years. I spent my last couple years of high school there with my family before going away to college. My first official stop in New Hampshire, was at the family plot at the town cemetery, to see how it looked, and check on my grandmother and my brother. There is a strange sort of comfort and peace, and also, grief, that comes from visiting the graves of those that we love. I didn’t expect it to feel as emotional as it did, and I stayed present to it, and called my parents to share in it with me.

Then, I drove to Keene, and saw the changes in the town where I had worked my first jobs and gone to high school. I then found my way to the home of my best friend from eighth grade on, and we spent the afternoon having lunch, sharing stories, visiting with her mom and sister, and getting to know each other as adults. It was total bliss.

Then, it was off to Panera Bread in Keene, where I met up with friends from high school, none of which I had seen since graduation, so, we are talking, 32 years! What an amazing time that was, talking about issues that impact us all, and how we are evolving into who we most want to be, and how we want to take our mission to the world. Fascinating, and I can’t wait to do it again! And, I even got to confess my fear that they would all decide to not show up! Funny, right?

There have been other stops since then: staying with my dear cousin last night in New Hampshire; spending the day with my big sister today in her home, sitting on her couch, and cooking for her; and tonight, writing this from my aunt’s house in Massachusetts. Making moments at every destination, and getting total joy out of it all.

I am amazed at how vitally important that this trip was to me; not just because I was going to see people whom I hadn’t for a long while, and who are important to me. But, because I feel like this trip was and is part of my mission of what I am carrying forward: my chance to keep speaking the truth, to help others to do so, and to connect deeply with the experiences of others. I have been doing more listening and more opening my heart. I am enjoying what I learn, and I am committed to doing it all again.

And, sharing it is the best way to spread the word. Connect. Be. Love. Give and Receive Joy.

Kitty Convention!

This morning, I was out for a walk/run in my neighborhood. The air was cool, the sky was brightening, and I was enjoying the air and the light. As I got near my house, I saw a kitty, walking near me. I talked to it, and as I got closer, there were four other kitties, that all walked away at the same time. It was so cute, and so real!

It was a kitty convention.

I absolutely love cats. But, that wasn’t what struck me as so fun, magical and powerful this morning. What impacted me so deeply was the fact this small moment in my neighborhood, I got to see it. Because I was paying attention, and staying present in my day, I didn’t miss something so subtle, as five neighborhood kitties having a moment. I could not imagined that I would see something like that, and it was so fun that I caught the moment.

I thought about it for the rest of the day, and it continued to remind me of the importance of being fully present in my life, to not miss the big, or the small, moments that happen in my life. To see the detail of my life, to be willing to understand the importance of it. In order to be happy, and to fulfill my mission and to be my best self, I need to stay in it, in the moment, and revel in it.

Tomorrow, who knows what is in store for me!

Why am I here?

As I go forward and keep evolving, changing, and growing, I become more aware of my mission on this earth, in this life. Why am I here? What am I here to do, to bring to others?

I have come up with a variety of answers over the last couple of years. However, some of the most consistent answers for me have been that I am here to teach others to open up, to trust and to be vulnerable, as I am learning to do that, too. It is also to guide those that I love in a spiritual way, to telling the truth and showing their hearts. I am learning how to do that too, not such an easy task!

We have all been living our lives, closed and untrustful. Yet we all want love. We all want connection. We all want to be heard and to be understood.

So, why am I here?

I am here to guide, to support, and teach others what I am finally learning. To open my heart, be vulnerable, trust, and to tell the truth. It is the only way to a life of joy.

Parallel Trains.




I have been spending a lot of time in the city of New York as of late. For my training with the Handel Group as a life coach, I am assisting with events and coming here often. What I am discovering is my own love of the city.

I am falling in love with the sights, sounds and people of the Big Apple. As I walk through neighborhoods where my friends reside, I feel the familiarity of having been here before. I am understanding the differences between uptown, downtown, Queens and Manhattan. I know where to find good, fresh produce, and how to carry my belongings without being a hazard to myself and others.

And, I am negotiating, and loving, riding the subway trains.

For my friends in Pennsylvania who once lived in the city, riding the subway is something they never do. Buses and cabs for them, no underground adventures. For me, there is something about the walk through the station, having a Metrocard always in my wallet now, and watching the persons that are riding with me that I thoroughly enjoy.

One particular phenomenon, that seems to happen at least once every trip, is the happening of parallel trains. When I am riding a subway train, it is not unusual for another train to be running on a parallel track. At those moments when we are side by side, I find myself looking inside, and wondering about the people in there. What are they thinking about? Where are they going? Are they tired, joyful or despairing? Are they weary or do they wonder about us, too?

To me, it is like having a bird’s eye view into a parallel universe, and although neither will intersect with the other, we will be able to see inside and to wonder.

This city is full of its own set of challenges, but there is truly magic here that only has to want to be seen, to be discovered.