What’s next.

I have so many options in front of me, and am in the process of creating, and imagining, what comes next for me. There is great excitement and joy in the prospects of just about anything that I have in store for me.

Since I let go of what was no longer my career dream, I have embraced the freedom of discovering myself and what it is that I truly want to do, what will bring me joy, connection, and fulfillment. There are so many options, and in the past, I have gotten easily overwhelmed with all that I had as possibility, and instead of choosing one, just staying with what was familiar and present.

Today, I am doing a combination of both. I am keeping things in my life as they have been, while I am figuring it out. I am going back to my job, with different responsibilities. I am actively taking steps to expand my training expertise, my connections to my community, and to get more into my writing. I am not just thinking about my dreams, I am planning the steps that I will take toward each of them.

The last few days have been challenging at times for me; challenging, in that I had to speak up and tell the truth, in a bigger way than almost ever before. There was one other time I told a truth that big, about my relationship and moving out, and it ended up being one of the most genuine decisions that I have ever made, and stuck with. Saying goodbye to this career dream, was also that powerful, in that I knew that it would create a lot of messes, for me to tell the truth.

Yet, to not tell the truth, was hurting people more than speaking up. So, it was time to use my courage and be the person that I say that I want to be.

I know that how I go forward is in my own hands. I know that I can sit, and wait for my life to happen, which I have done at times before, or I can create it. If I wait for it, then I will blame everyone else for me not having it, and sit in my own self loathing in the process. If I create it, step by step, I can feel proud that even if it doesn’t work out the way that I intend, I didn’t sit back and let it roll by me. I went ahead, took the path, and blazed it where I wanted it to go.

So, what’s next for me?

Lots of great, new, exciting things. And, I can’t wait to get started.

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