Today, I went with our daughter as she walked her way through the high school, in anticipation of her beginning there next week. She had her schedule, and went through the hallways, to see where she will be on Monday. How she will get around. Opening her locker. Giggling with her best friend.
I left with a lump in my throat. Our beautiful girl is growing up.
I had been thinking about this post for a few days, the milestones that I have seen already with her. The first smile. First time sitting up, rolling over, saying a word.
Her first steps.
The first day of preschool, and then bigger yet, Kindergarten. The day that she got on the bus for Kindergarten, I cried and wanted to lay down in the road as she left. It felt so big, the world, the bus, the life ahead of her.
When she started sleeping in her own bed, every night, and not needing us to help her to fall asleep. When she lost her first tooth. Found her first best friend. Stayed home alone after school.
I thought about so many of them today. In the past, because of my work, I missed many of her firsts, like her steps, and her teeth coming out. I didn’t get to see that first look of nervousness, anticipation, excitement.
I took it all in today. As she wandered around, found her way, yet, she still looked for me to be there with her. That was priceless.
I remember high school for me. I was scared, and excited, and it seemed so big. I had a new look, a new feel to myself. I wanted to fit in, yet be unique.
High school was a big challenge for me. I am hoping and praying it is not so much for her. And, if it is, that she talks to me about it to help her through it.
I feel so blessed, to have the connection with our daughter that I do. I feel a very precise balance about it all; the letting her go, and grow, and also, to stay just close enough, so I am around if she needs me.
The emotion comes from time, moving so quickly, and not wanting to miss a moment of it with her. I feel so grateful, happy, and proud of who she is and who she is becoming.
Yet, today, in those hallways, I still saw my baby girl, growing up and away. It tugs at my heart more than anything in this world.