We all are going to encounter failures in this life, and most likely have already. Times when even our most well laid plans go down the tubes. Times when we have thought of every manner in which to create a success, it seems, and yet, our plans flop.
We fail. And sometimes, we fail REALLY big.
I HATE to fail. I hate to make mistakes, and I had to screw up. And, ultimately, I hate to fail at something, or have it completely not come to be, because of my choices, or lack of them, or my lack of handling situations properly. Yet, I have had many failures in my life.
I failed to maintain a lifelong love relationship.
I failed at being a life coach.
I have had many failures, mistakes, and screw ups, in my newest job position.
I failed at having myself financially sound at this point in my life.
So many things, and others that are also in my history I am sure, that if I were of the mind that my failures mean nothing, or, that I had nothing to do with them, or nothing to do as a result of them to change my life, then I would just curl up in a ball and give up on continuing.
Fortunately for me, I have a different view.
As with other life areas and realizations, the more often that I own my part, the easier it is to deal with the consequences. So, most recently, when I made the decision to leave the coaching program, I admitted failure. I said, it isn’t for me. I failed at being great. And, I stood in that, as uncomfortable as it was, and told the truth. I owned my part.
If I had walked, or ran away, from facing up to it, which I really WANTED to do, and not face up to my choice, then it would have made it very easy to make up the story of it in my head, and blame others for why I chose what I did. Instead, I got the great honor of owning my decision, standing up for it, and cleaning up all of the messes that occurred because of it.
I also believe that we learn from our failures, and we have to be willing to see what that lesson is. For me, with coaching, my lesson is that I have to be willing to stand up and stand in my truth, no matter what, and to not run away when someone may not agree or understand. I need to stand by my decisions and failures, even when it feels yucky.
Now, failure doesn’t mean berating oneself, mind you. I can admit I failed, without calling myself a jerk. And, it is quite freeing, and human, to be able to admit failure, because then, we can find humility, and see even more clearly how deeply we are connected with one another.
Whether we are talking life, love, our very dreams, we will all have failures. The magic is in finding our ownership in the failure, and getting the lesson for moving on.