I am willing to be awake.


I have been spending more time in the last few weeks, getting into my exercise routine from a different perspective. After having gone through a few months, complaining and whining about the reasons that I should be able to eat what I want, when I want, and exercise only when I feel like it, and NOT gain weight, I am seeing the light. The light, for me, is that I get to build a body, and a life, that is focused on healthy eating, and healthy, consistent movement.

My most favorite way to exercise, see the world, breathe the air and clear my mind, is walking. Whether indoors in the cold weather, or outdoors whenever I can, it is very need fulfilling for me. I did, however, find another work out, that is a good exercise for your heart, physically and emotionally.

It is called Intensati, and I know that I have referred to it here in past blogs. It is an unique combination of cardio workout; yoga; pilates; and martial arts thrown in. It is movements, as well as intentions that you speak as you work out. What fascinated me about it from the beginning of my introduction to it, is that the combination of moving my body, and my mind, has transformed me in some major ways.

When I did the workout yesterday morning, my intention was much different than it has been on many past occasions. I was less concerned about how many calories it would enable me to burn, and more interested in connecting with my body in a deep way, and enjoying the strength that is building within.

In the second part of the workout, she introduces us to Chin Mudra; chin mudra is the bringing together of the thumb and index finger; into a circle. It represents the merging of the individual with the universal; the I and the We. It also is a gesture of being willing to receive.

I find power in that meaning and gesture; however, it is the words that she says along with it that really impacted me yesterday:

“I am willing to be awake; and to bring my awareness to all of life, all others, and all of myself.”


The whole statement is powerful to me, but the big part that grabbed me in the early morning on a Sunday, was the willingness to be awake. I am gone through much of my life, over the years, being half asleep. On cruise control, just going through the motions. Somewhere in the last couple of years, I have realized, and decided, that going through the motions doesn’t work for me anymore. Actually, it never really worked at all, but now, I am not WILLING to live that way anymore. Being awake really feels like my only option today. Awake for my parenting; for my new love; for my goals and dreams of how I want to touch the world; for washing the dishes, singing a song or buying an outfit. For the food I eat and the way that I move.

I am willing to be awake, ready, and open to receive. And, remember that all is not me; but WE.




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