In the most recent evolution of my self, which has been occurring just in the last few days, there is one adjective that keeps coming to mind to describe it.
POWERFUL. I feel powerful in my life and in regard to how I see myself.
This has been a word that I have used to describe aspects of me at various times before. Sometimes, feeling powerful to me meant that I was overcoming an obstacle, or perceived obstacle, and moving forward where I might have been stalled. At other times, it meant that my body felt strong, and I saw in the mirror an image that I believed would be appealing to others, in addition to myself. Powerful has also been used when I have gotten positive feedback from others about how I am doing on the job, or other aspects of my life.
Today, I am embracing a new, and more accurate version of what powerful means to me.
Powerful means to me that I love my life; that I feel connected to myself, to others, and to all things that I participate in. Powerful means that I embrace my courage, my fear, my insecurities and confidence. It means that all emotions are valid and have a place in my growth and development. Powerful means that I am vulnerable, yet strong. Captivated, yet free. Honest, and compassionate and sensitive to others.
Powerful to me, means connecting with all aspects of who I am, and seeing the wholeness of me as the sum total.
In the past, being powerful often was represented in my mind by what I thought that I was, or had to, build or create. When I achieve this degree, I will have a powerful means to get a great job. When I have this much money in the bank; that certain kind of relationship with others; when I am a specific weight and size, THEN I will be at my most powerful.
What I understand and embrace now, is that the TRUE nature of power, and being powerful, is being honest and aware of all aspects of self, and using them in the world.
Truly accepting who we are, in all aspects, and taking it to others. In all of my fifty years, that has not been how I fully embraced being powerful. And now, I see how, in embracing what I carry, and showing it to others, it is the only way to truly be a powerful force in this world.