Pretending I am not Powerful.


Today, as I was going through my day, I started to think about many things in my life. I was thinking about the transformation, that is my life in every single moment. I thought about how I have been using my magic more fully than ever before in my life, and having some amazing results. I thought about letting go, moving on, and choosing something different.

I thought about many different versions of how I am powerful in my life.

When I came home tonight, I read the medicine card for Hawk. Hawk, as the messenger card, reminds me to pay attention to my life, and to the details of it. Also, to remember that as long as I am paying attention, I will always see the signs and sounds of what Great Spirit has in store for me. It also reminded me to be present to my potential, and that the power that we have is directly related to how tuned in we are to our abilities and strengths.

So, then I thought about my own power, and owning that in my life. Today, I feel and see my power, when I am in conversation or looking at myself in the mirror. I not only trust in being able to have any dream that I set my sights on, but I also see myself as the force behind having it happen. I see my powerful self.

Years ago, long before I felt as opened up spiritually as I do these days, it wasn’t that I didn’t see the actual power that I possessed. I guess that might be true, but just a bit. The bigger truth, is that I spent my time pretending that I wasn’t powerful. I saw glimpses of the power that I could bring to the world, and I even believed in that power much of the time. What served me better, or so I thought, was to play small, and pretend that I didn’t think that I was powerful at all.

That served me in a couple of major ways. First, if I acted like I didn’t believe in my own power, it allowed me to blame my partner, or family, for overpowering me, hurting my feelings, or controlling everything because I wasn’t speaking up, and then could play victim, or baby much of the time.

It also served me in that I believed that it made me look humble and polite to those around me. Sure, there were quite a few times when I easily saw my power potential. However, I wanted to look good to others, so to me, pretending I was powerless allowed me to look humble, and therefore liked more by others.

So, today I get to tell myself the truth about my power. I have opportunities, dozens of them, every day to show my power, in a proud but humble way; in a shining beam rather than under a bushel. I don’t have to pretend anymore. Actually, I never had to in the first place. Now, I see a different choice that fits me just perfectly.




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