Today, the medicine card that I drew for myself was the swan card. Grace. Beauty.
The way the story goes is that the ugly duckling turns into a beautiful swan. Transformation. The growth process of going from ugly, underdeveloped and awkward to beautiful, graceful, lovely.
I have chosen this card many times before. I have read something different in it each time. Today, what was so amazing for me about it, is that I finally took full accountability for what it is the real meaning is for me.
For me, it is definitely about transformation; the process of transforming from ugly to beautiful. However, today it hit me full force that the transformation that I believed in previously, was one in which I become beautiful.
The real truth is, I have ALWAYS been beautiful.
There was no need for me to learn, grow, evolve or become something or someone different. Sure, all that is happening, and I feel the better for every bit of it. However, the beauty has always been inside of me. The perfection exists in this vessel of a human.
The transformation, is in the opening of my own eyes to realize this. Not just to see it, but to have the faith and belief that it has been there all along.
I have done, said, and been involved in many things in my life, for which I may not have felt regret, but I have certainly felt sorry for, and even at times, ashamed of. I have judged myself numerous times for decisions made that I wish had been different at the time; or ways that I have disconnected from those that I love rather than join with them.
Today, if I am to be impeccable, I need to move beyond that. I can take responsibility for my actions, without berating myself for it, or judging myself harshly. I no longer have to tell myself that I am fat, or stupid, or mean. I don’t have to say that I am too proud or too scared to try something new.
I don’t have to rush through my life.
My self that exists right now, has always been, and always will be, sheer perfection and utter uniqueness. It seems that I am finally ready to see the swan that has been there all the time.