Last evening, I sat by the window in my hotel room and watched the lightning flash and the rain come. It lasted for a long time. When the storm passed, I saw beautiful colors reflected in a window across the courtyard. It was some of the most beautiful pinks and purples in a sunset that I had ever seen.
So, I ran down five flights of stairs, ran outside, and walked quickly around the side of the building, trying to get a glimpse of the pink up close. I found some remnants of it, that were bright and beautiful, but what I had seen earlier had passed.
As I walked slowly back to my room, it got me thinking. Thinking about what it is as humans that we seek outside of ourselves. What we go chasing because we don’t believe that we possess it within.
The example of the sunset is real, and the message of it is deeply symbolic for me. As I have been away this week for work, I have spent a great deal of time going deep, reflecting, and pondering what is really important to me. What I really want to bring to the world. It is no accident that I wrote on my blog, in my journal, and read, more than I have in a long time.
The lesson that the beautiful sunset brought me last night is that I don’t ever have to chase down anything. I can go looking if I so choose, but I never have to look outside of myself because I think that the beauty lies somewhere outside of me.
I have spent much of my life looking for validation, connection, and beauty outside of my own soul. I have pursued relationships that would fill me, because I thought I didn’t know how to fill myself. I have neglected to see, as the swan, that it wasn’t that I became beautiful; I just had to see the beauty that always was waiting there.
And, even if we think seeking beauty outside of ourselves is what we need to do, or validation or success, it is never quite as pink as we imagine it will be. Not really.
So, the lesson for me is that I don’t have to chase anything at all; I can seek, I can ask, I can learn and grow, but I also will always find the purest beauty and light within. And, the answers for anything I query will always be waiting there.
Inside of me.