When I first started to receive private coaching over three years ago, one of the first things that we did together was talk about the areas of my life, all of them, and what my dream was for each. According to Handel Group methodology, we all have eighteen areas of life that are part of who we are, maybe more even. And, unless we are clear about what we really want in each life area, we won’t be actively working toward our dreams. One of those life areas is personal space, and that was the first area that my coach and I put me to work on transforming my life.
Now, at first glance, it seemed like there should be more obvious areas that I work on than that, the ones that I was really unhappy about, whether that be in love relationships, money, or body. Yet, starting with personal space was perfect, because it was simple, manageable, and the results could be seen immediately. So, I started with a promise to myself to clear the clutter in my bedroom in the next week. The clutter was an overflow of clothing that I didn’t wear anymore, my bedside table with stacks of stuff on it, and my bookcase, that housed much more than books.
When I anticipated doing this task, I was nervous, and sad even. Would I be willing to give up “stuff”, that seemed to have some weighted meaning to me? Papers, tee shirts, things that symbolized moments in time to me. Yet, after I parted with those things, the things that really don’t represent the moments at all, I felt so freed up. My space was clear, my room was more organized, and I felt lighter.
And, not only was my physical space more clear, but so was my mind. It was fascinating.
Yesterday, my medicine card was that of the Frog. In Native medicine, frog medicine is powerful medicine for clearing away the clutter, the mud, the things that keep us stuck in our lives. Whether I am talking about belongings, or an old belief about my body, or my relationships, or the work that I do, I have been invested in holding onto all of it. Holding onto old beliefs, like the tee shirt from my favorite restaurant at the beach, helps me to remember something that is familiar. Even for those thoughts that are not pleasant, like being so negative to myself about my body, holding onto the familiar at times is more soothing that embracing the new.
Today, I realize that I am ready to clear all of the clutter in my life. It seems easier to let go of and say goodbye to those things that no longer serve me well. I understand how clearing away lets my best self shine through. Even though the clearing of clutter, my safety zone, can leave me feeling scared and vulnerable at times, I am tired of all of those things that take my energy rather than build it.
I am really ready to love myself more.