There are times in my life when I stop for a moment, and look back on it. I remember people that I have known, or places that I have been, things that I have done. I think about being where I was, and where my life is at right.
And, I realize that it all makes sense.
No matter who I have been in the past, what path I have chosen, or who I have been in a relationship with, it all makes sense in regard to the person that I am now. I had to be in the relationships that I was in, in order to sort out what I wanted with another person, and what I didn’t want. I had to work in the jobs that I wouldn’t choose to be doing now, in order to be where I am at in my professional career.
When I look back, I never have regret or resentment. EVER.
I have never been a person that has regrets. That is not to say that I haven’t realized where I could have made a different choice, been more honest with a person, or left a job or living situation sooner than I did. However, I clearly understand that I was where I was supposed to be for that period of time, and I have learned what I want, and don’t, in going forward.
The lessons that I have learned don’t always come right away. There are many occasions that I have to be away from a situation for a period of time before the lessons that come from it are apparent to me. I remember when I moved into my apartment two years ago. One of the first things that I wanted to do when I moved in there, was to start dating. At the time, I thought that it was because I was ready. After a few months, I realized how terrified I was of being alone, and I thought that dating would help me with not having to face up to that. It took me a long time to put that into perspective.
I also came to the lessons about love in my life, only after I hadn’t done any dating at all yet since leaving my last relationship. It was not until I started dating Brenda that I understood why I wasn’t supposed to be dating before that time. The lessons came to me long after I was trying to figure it all out.
The whole of my life is a brilliant patchwork, one that when I am in the midst of putting it together, I may not see the total picture. When I use that perspective, and keep remembering how every piece of it makes sense, I see the beauty of it all.
What a life I am building!