I have spent much of my life aspiring and seeking. Aspiring to gain a career that I enjoy, that can be lucrative, and help me to take care of myself and my family. Aspiring to be smarter and better at what I do. I have also been seeking, seeking peace, comfort, and knowledge outside of myself in order to feel more spiritually sound. I have sought that through religion, meditation, and yoga. I have sought knowledge through deep study and classes. I have, for much of my life, been working toward the next “thing”. Job. Opportunity. Level of Enlightenment.
What I have been discovering lately about seeking, is that it feels like desperation. Like in order to feel truly happy or fulfilled in my life, I need something else, something more, or the next thing to be satisfied. That to be just in this moment, at those times, feels like not enough.
All of my seeking through my life has come from a place of fear. By reading about what I can do to be more spiritual, or more educated, I cater to a fear that in this space, right now, I am not enough. At those times, I would rather focus on who it is that I think that I should be, rather than who I am right now.
Fear is a strange animal of sorts. Fear keeps us in a fog, a sort of amnesia. Fear keeps us from remembering that we are perfect just as we are. When we are children, before we are domesticated, we know that. We play, and are free with who we are and how we express it. Then, over time of growing up, people and circumstances tell us we are not okay; that we have to do more, be more. And that what we are in that moment, in a phrase, is not enough.
The real truth is that there is no next thing. There is no level to aspire to or become. We are all perfect, just as we are in this moment. Life is as it should be, right now. It doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t change what we don’t like. It just means that in the meantime, we are as we should be. Life is as it should be. There are many things in this moment that we can have gratitude for, and see them as a blessing.
We can awaken from our amnesia, and remember that the only moment of our lives that we ever have, is right now. This IS the next thing.