I have said it often in my blog before, that I have times when I feel completely overwhelmed, discouraged, and vulnerable. I feel scared and alone. I feel like whatever it is that I am experiencing can not be understood by anyone else. I feel like there is a darkness that exists inside of me, and around me, and that the light that is supposedly there will never be seen again.
So, when that happened with me a few days ago, I was sure that the feeling would not pass anytime soon. Then, I woke up the next day and still felt the residue. I was sure it would not pass easily, and yet, over the hours of that next day, the darkness slowly dissipated and gave way to the light that was waiting for me.
What I thought about when I let the light return, is that all that I ever need to remember on any given day is what I can do to return to love. What I can do to return to peace. What I can do to connect or join with my world. And, when I am in that feeling of darkness, I am not choosing any of those things.
When I am feeling dark, I am choosing to not love myself, or others, and it becomes so tempting and juicy to judge others around me more than ever. When I am feeling alone or discouraged, I am choosing to throw my inner peace away and then blame the world for stealing it from me. When I am tearful and overwhelmed, I am actively choosing to disconnect from those around me, and then acting as if no one could possibly understand what I am going through.
And yet, the answer is always waiting for me, and it is so simple. In any given moment, when it seems most dark and despairing, I get to choose to embrace myself with pure love, for whatever it is that I am experiencing or what I need. For me, self love, deeply loving and accepting myself, wherever I am at, allows me to see the world with loving eyes. It seems so much more complicated like that at the time, like I need the outside world to do something for me, to acknowledge that I am lovable and have true worth. But that isn’t the answer at all. The answer is me.
And I also believe that this is true for all of us as human beings. That when we love ourselves as deeply and consistently as we possibly can, we will embrace our peace. We will openly connect with the world around us. We will not be tempted to judge others or the world around us. For when we see ourselves with eyes love, the world around us will be a loving place, always.
Love, really, is all we need.