Monthly Archives: October 2014

Fly.

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Many of my friends are experiencing a deep loss today, at the passing of their friend, Nora. I only met Nora once, yet her spirit and strength filled the room that we were in. From what I hear of her, she is kind, open hearted, loving, funny, and full of life. Tonight, she flies freely after a battle that she fought hard and long.

The more that I age, the less scared that I feel about death. I don’t know if it is because of the aging process itself, or more because I am growing wiser and more balanced about my life and how I want to, and intend to, live it. I want to live in the now. I want to live fully and passionately, drinking wine or eating pizza, or saying yes to dessert. I want to watch Grey’s Anatomy for hours, or walk by the lake with my love. Whatever I am doing to participate in my life, I want to show up fully and enjoy myself immensely.

It seems that is how Nora lived, and how she died as well; living every day to the fullest, right to the end of her days. I may not know what is in store for me when I leave this world, but I feel certain that tonight, Nora’s spirit is flying free, all around us. I feel joy for her, and I feel full compassion for all of those who love her, and will miss her each and every day.

Peace, friends.

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Say Yes.

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I really enjoy taking pictures. From the time that I was a child, I would ask for a camera for Christmas, and over the years, was given several different kinds. I enjoy taking photos of my loved ones and the beauty of nature around me.

So, for the last few months, I have been thinking about the idea of getting a new camera, a digital one. I have smaller digital cameras, and I even have a manual 35 mm camera. But I wanted to do something more with photographs, and really capture what it is that I see with my eyes.

I found a camera that I really liked, and that a friend was recommending was a good one to start with. Yet, for weeks, I was ambivalent about whether or not to actually buy it. It was expensive. I had the money, but it meant spending a chunk of my savings to get it. I thought of dozens other things I could do with that money, and dozens of reasons why keeping it in the bank, just in case, was the right thing to do. I also told myself that it was selfish in a way, to spend money on something when I already had a camera.

Then, two weeks ago, I finally breathed deeply, and said yes, and went and bought that camera. It was an amazing decision. Not because I had finally said I would spend the money and buy it, but because I actually was saying Yes to myself.

There are not many things that I don’t say yes to for myself anymore, and I don’t mean just buying things or spending money. I say yes to myself about visiting my loved ones; spending time with friends; trying something new and different; or just being in love with those around me. Saying yes means that we want to express love for our selves, to take good care.

There are times when I say to myself that saying yes is being self indulgent; spoiled; or not having any restrictions. And, in a way, it is. It means that we are saying it is okay to be open to many, various possibilities. And, whether that is symbolic by ordering dessert, buying a camera, or meeting new people, we are opening and being available in our world.

So, I am shooting pictures with my new camera; I am so grateful that I decided that getting it was the best thing to do. I am so grateful that once again, I said yes to being in my life.