I really enjoy taking pictures. From the time that I was a child, I would ask for a camera for Christmas, and over the years, was given several different kinds. I enjoy taking photos of my loved ones and the beauty of nature around me.
So, for the last few months, I have been thinking about the idea of getting a new camera, a digital one. I have smaller digital cameras, and I even have a manual 35 mm camera. But I wanted to do something more with photographs, and really capture what it is that I see with my eyes.
I found a camera that I really liked, and that a friend was recommending was a good one to start with. Yet, for weeks, I was ambivalent about whether or not to actually buy it. It was expensive. I had the money, but it meant spending a chunk of my savings to get it. I thought of dozens other things I could do with that money, and dozens of reasons why keeping it in the bank, just in case, was the right thing to do. I also told myself that it was selfish in a way, to spend money on something when I already had a camera.
Then, two weeks ago, I finally breathed deeply, and said yes, and went and bought that camera. It was an amazing decision. Not because I had finally said I would spend the money and buy it, but because I actually was saying Yes to myself.
There are not many things that I don’t say yes to for myself anymore, and I don’t mean just buying things or spending money. I say yes to myself about visiting my loved ones; spending time with friends; trying something new and different; or just being in love with those around me. Saying yes means that we want to express love for our selves, to take good care.
There are times when I say to myself that saying yes is being self indulgent; spoiled; or not having any restrictions. And, in a way, it is. It means that we are saying it is okay to be open to many, various possibilities. And, whether that is symbolic by ordering dessert, buying a camera, or meeting new people, we are opening and being available in our world.
So, I am shooting pictures with my new camera; I am so grateful that I decided that getting it was the best thing to do. I am so grateful that once again, I said yes to being in my life.